[Vision2020] How to Annoy Someone in the Bathroom (Humor)

[Tom Hansen]

How to Annoy Someone in the Bathroom 

* Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I
borrow a highlighter?" 

* Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that." 

* Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily
function noise. 

* Say, "Damn, this water's cold." 

* Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!" 

* Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before." 

* Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into
the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly. 

* Say, "Now how did that get there?" 

* Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus." 

* Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the
stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!" 

* Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers." 

* Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper
and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops,
could you kick that back over here please?" 

* Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me." 

* Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over
your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the
balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it
on the fettuccine alfredo you had for breakfast. 

* Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot." 

* Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I
gonna do?" 

* Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks. 

* Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your
"Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent
stall. 

* Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see
your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

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Take care, Moscow.

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho


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Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.

- Author Unknown
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