[Vision2020] An Open Letter to Phil Roderick

[Andreas Schou]

Phil --

You are schizophrenic.

I first realized that you were schizophrenic when, some weeks ago, you
claimed that CJ's was a "classy place." What, might I ask, is the
classiest element of your fine establishement? The classy poster of
the classy alien holding the classy bong? The upscale plastic cups in
which you serve vintage Keystone Light? The fractal screensaver on
your antique karaoke machine? The classy vomit stains on your classy
industrial carpet flooring? Or is it the knife fights, in which, like
fine ballet, people get stabbed in the skull?

I live two blocks from your date rape emporium.  I am not and have
never been impressed. So when you whine and whine and whine and whine,
to the tune of two dozen postings per day, about how taxes are driving
your business out of business, I am forced to respond that this is
simply not the case. It is your business that is driving your business
out of business.

If it hastens the end of your clogging my inbox, I am, in fact, going
to vote for the school levy. Not to build a new school for the
children of Moscow, but to euthanize your creaking eyesore of a dance
club, so, hopefully, you will no longer be able to afford an Internet
account with which to drive everybody within earshot as batshit crazy
as you appear to be.

Diplomacy, logic, and appeals to your humanity don't appear to work
because you apparently aren't responsive to the first two and don't
possess any of the third. Maybe this will make a dent: begone. Shoo.
Cast your dung upon other waters: it has never been welcome here.

Stop projecting your multiplicitous personal and business failures on
a school levy in a small town in North Idaho. Stop irritating your
elected officials, your local paper of record, and your fellow
citizens. Stop screaming and threatening to get people fired. Even in
three-year-olds, a tantrum can only last 'til the kid runs out of
breath.

Please seek professional help,
ACS