[Vision2020] Phone Co. Now to Outsource Your Dough to Tommy the Ho

[Tom Hansen]

>From today's (April 13, 2005) The Skew.

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Phone Co. Now to Outsource Your Dough to Tommy the Ho

New York, NY - We apologize to Skew readers. Week in and week out you
probably have been asking yourself, "why no slam on Tom DeLay?!" Come on
kids! A Republican with his hand in the cookie jar? Been there, done that,
been raised by one. In other words, it would be like shooting fish in a
barrel. But when the phone company gets involved, the same one that provides
us our DSL (or as we refer to it in our home, DS SMELL), to bring you these
"issues" each week, we take it personally. We won't name names. For all
intents and purposes, we'll just refer to this phone company as "Blerizon,"
when we tell you in the same breath that they have possibly contributed a
nice chunk of your change to defend Tom "The HammerT" DeLay. They've not
only donated at least $5.5 million to GOP campaigns, they've even gone so
far as to hire Ralphie, "I may look like Satan, but I play a Christian on
TV," Reed as a company consultant. As if it wasn't bad enough when you
called for tech service and got some guy who you could hardly understand who
said, "Hi, my name is Gupta, but you can call me Max!" So now, you are not
only are you unable to solve your problem, but when you reach out and touch
someone, you still don't get the benefit of actually reaching out and
touching someone, most likely an all expense paid whore and preferably after
a nice round of 18 holes at a five-star South Korean golf course. If you are
a current customer of "Blerizon," we urge you to switch to two Dixie cups
and a string. It's the only way you can be sure they won't be pulling your
strings.

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Take care, Moscow.

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

PS - Vote YES on April 26th and tell your children you care.


"What is objectionable, what is dangerous, about extremists is not that they
are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say
about their cause, but what they say about their opponents."

-- Robert F. Kennedy