[Vision2020] Bush

[Tom Hansen]

Bush Cheers, "Hey Karl, This No Reading them Newspapers Idea Really Paid
Off!"


Washington, DC - As it has become painfully obvious to non-sheepish
Americans, once and future President Bush's comment about not liking to read
newspapers during the previous campaign has really caught on like wildfire.
Otherwise, there would be no excuse for over half of America to vote him
back into office. He rejoiced, "I'll tell you Karl, I couldn't be more
pleased that they up and followed my lead with this no readin' thing. It
shows what a great leader I am that they don't even seem to no about stuff,
like that Abu Graib torture scandal. Or, that no child left behind will
translate to public schools going bankrupt to pave the way for all parochial
schools in America. Or that's it's a good idea for them to die before they
realize they're ain't gonna be no more social security. Damn, if I'd ever
known I become such a fashionable trendsetter, I'd have never stopped
snorting coke." When reached for comment, middle America in the person of
one Elmer Moon commented, "well it's like this, the two party system's not
working anymore, so if we're gonna have one party, I want it to be with the
guy who knows how to party. It all boils down to which one I can have a beer
with. Preferably, a nice cold Coors. Bush, campaigning with no tie on and
sleeves rolled up, refusing to read and all, makes me just know we could get
loaded together e'cept for him being a dry drunk. I kinda always worried
that John Kerry would insist on making me sip dry sherry by a roaring fire
listening to LaTraviator, while Bush would just know I'd rather be
scratching myself while watching Terminator."

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