[Vision2020] Dogs playing golf
Joan Opyr
auntiestablishment@hotmail.com
Thu, 25 Mar 2004 17:18:58 -0800
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Not just dogs . . . bitches play golf, too. I myself can drive three hun=
dred yards but I've got one heck of a leftward slice. Of course, you kne=
w that.
=20
Listen here, Visionaries. As long as I'm causing trouble, or, rather, dr=
awing your attention to the trouble caused by others, I've just been remi=
nded of something by one of my more environmentally conscious friends: ju=
st where the Sam Hell is the water going to come from for an expanded UI =
golf course? Will it be reclaimed waste water from the treatment plant? =
Will golfers really want to drag their spiked saddle oxfords through cla=
rified effluence? (Yeah, yeah, I know the waste water is clean. It's pr=
obably cleaner than Moscow drinking water. But still.) And here's anoth=
er question: will regular folk be allowed to use the course, or will it b=
e like the UI [w]rec[k] center? A gift, from the students, for the UI At=
hletic Department. Thank you. You shouldn't have. No, really. You sho=
uldn't have. =20
Student fees, it would seem, work sort of like office birthday pools. So=
meone comes around with a Far Side card and asks you for five dollars. Y=
ou don't discover until later that they're collecting for the greedy fat =
psychotic who sits in the coat cupboard on the fourth floor doing nothing=
all day but surfing the Internet for photos of naked Dutch girls in wood=
en clogs.
"Who stepped on a duck?"
Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment
PS: There's an Art Fair on the UI Administration lawn tomorrow, and I enc=
ourage all of you to attend. As a friend of mine says, "Better support A=
rt while you can." Supplies are limited. Get more from the Web. FR=
EE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com
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<HTML><BODY STYLE=3D"font:10pt verdana; border:none;"><DIV>Not just dogs =
. . bitches play golf, too. I myself can drive three hundred=
yards but I've got one heck of a leftward slice. Of course, you kn=
ew that.</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Listen here, Visionaries. As=
long as I'm causing trouble, or, rather, drawing your attention to the t=
rouble caused by others, I've just been reminded of something by one of&n=
bsp;my more environmentally conscious friends: just where the Sam&nb=
sp;Hell is the water going to come from for an expanded UI golf=
course? Will it be reclaimed waste water from the treatment plant?=
Will golfers really want to drag their spiked saddle oxfords =
through clarified effluence? (Yeah, yeah, I know the wast=
e water is clean. It's probably cleaner than Moscow drinking w=
ater. But still.) And here's another question: will regular f=
olk be allowed to use the course, or will it be like the UI [w]rec[k]&nbs=
p;center? A gift, from the students, for the UI Athletic Depar=
tment. Thank you. You shouldn't have. No, really. =
You <STRONG>shouldn't</STRONG> have. </DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV=
>Student fees, it would seem, work sort of like office birthday=
pools. Someone comes around with a Far Side card and asks you for =
five dollars. You don't discover until later that they're coll=
ecting for the greedy fat psychotic who sits in the coat c=
upboard on the fourth floor doing nothing all day but surfing the Interne=
t for photos of naked Dutch girls in wooden clogs.</DIV> <DIV> =
</DIV> <DIV>"Who stepped on a duck?"</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Joan Op=
yr/Auntie Establishment</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>PS: There's an Art F=
air on the UI Administration lawn tomorrow, and I encourage all of you to=
attend. As a friend of mine says, "Better support Art while you ca=
n." Supplies are limited. </DIV>=
</BODY></HTML><br clear=3Dall><hr>Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explor=
er download : <a href=3D'http://explorer.msn.com'>http://explorer.msn.com=
</a><br></p>
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