[Vision2020] News From The Skew

[TGIF]

Fans Bummed as Whitney Misses Chance to Dis Early Iraq Handover

Baghdad – While new President Ghazi al-Yawar and Prime Minister Iyad Allawi 
were congratulating each other on Monday in Baghdad, pop icon Whitney Houston 
was sleeping one off, never knowing she already missed an opportunity to miss a 
gig. The surly diva was scheduled to perform at a celebration ceremony June 30 
when the U.S. handed sovereignty over to the interim Iraqi government. “We 
figured hearing her sing ‘I Will Always Love You,' Vice President Cheney’s 
request, would be enough to wipe away the memory of 14 months of forced 
occupation for the repressed populace. Unfortunately, due to recent events, we 
couldn’t take a chance to see if she’d remember to forget to show up and then 
totally flake out,” stated administrator L. (Lucifer) Paul Bremer. Fans were 
deeply disappointed the singer missed the chance to miss the engagement, as 
they knew she would never then have the chance to swear like a sailor and curse 
the media on their criticism afterwards, which is the only way they really get 
to see or hear from her any more. One fan commented, “hey, even if we see her 
rambling and swearing, being totally patronizing, and hopelessly out of touch 
with reality while she’s on the air, at least we know she really, really wanted 
to be
there.”

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