[Vision2020] Is Zume's on the market? [Reposted since two originals did not appear.]

[Saundra Lund]

Well, inquiring minds *do* want to know!

Now that I've picked myself up off the floor from ROTFLOL over Mr. Fox's
suggestions, I realize this could be a golden opportunity.  I would love to
own a small local business that could add to the character of our community
and provide a public service as well!

However, I need a few questions answered first.

Ms. Huskey asked an important question:  is there actual physical space for
sale, or would one be stuck leasing from that wolf in sheep's clothing or
some arm of Wilson World?  While I might be interested in purchasing the
space, I definitely wouldn't want to lease the space from people who think
feminism, equal rights, and abortion are abominations.

Second, whatever happened with Moscow's Great Safe Heist of 2004?  As a
potential business owner, I'd want to make sure that whole thing had been
satisfactorily resolved.  Were the culprits ever caught?  If not, then as a
prudent potential business owner, I'd have grave doubts about the safety of
my investment.  After all, I'd sure hate for my safe to sprout legs and walk
off unnoticed!

Third, have there been any reports of hauntings in the building?  This might
sound a bit far out, but that building has apparently been cursed since NSA
took it over, what with the Great Safe Heist, the alleged vandalisms, and
the failure of Zume.  I have to wonder if the Good Lord is trying to send
them a message that they've got it all wrong.  Now, of course, a great many
of us in the community *know* Wilson World has it all wrong, but how wise
would it be to start up a business in such close proximity to the target of
God's wrath???  According to Wilson World, one needs to look no further than
the South to see what happens when God gets really p*ssed.

Finally, should someone commit a crime or become financially indebted to me,
would I have the autonomy to reject taking that person as a slave for
restitution and rehabilitation, or would my business space be subject to
Wilson World's theocratic worldview that slavery is mandated for criminals,
and any convict rejecting enslavement be put to death?  I will NOT get
involved in slavery *or* executions!

Assuming I receive favorable answers to my questions, then I have *just the
PERFECT* idea for a business to go into that space!  After much long & hard
thought about what would fit into the character of the building and the
people there, as well as providing a form of entertainment currently lacking
for a segment of the community, I've hit on an idea.  Now, I'm not very
creative by nature, so I'm hoping some of you here (perhaps Mr. Fox or Ms.
Opyr) will be able to help me come up with a name for my future
establishment, but here's My Idea . . . 

I think the location would be ideal for a nice little Poker/Blackjack Parlor
:-)  You know, a kind of reincarnation of the Morton Street House that some
of those (including some who are now "faculty") at NSA apparently had a
particular fondness for  :-)  Now, Master Wilkins is no longer in the area,
but I think the venture would still be successful because other participants
are still around, and with all those from outside the community Wilson World
is attracting, there would be a guaranteed continual influx of interested
new clients  :-)

Due to legal restrictions, I couldn't serve alcohol to minors the way the
Real Morton Street House did when they wanted more action/bigger stakes.
However, I think those fine young men showed their true characters and
attraction to the wilder side of life, and I've no reason to think the women
would be any different, so I don't think alcohol would be a necessity.

Perhaps all the dealers could be Nicole Kidman <g> and Tom Cruise clones?
And, I'm sure I could fix things up so that the inner workings of my
business wouldn't be visible to the public, so perhaps topfree and low rise
clones would be a better draw than alcohol, anyway.  I'm pretty sure that
idea would fly because the idiots who pushed for Moscow Ordinance 2002-13
didn't think to regulate SOBs (sexually oriented businesses) because they
were more worried about the effects of breasts than sex.

But, IMHO, here's the *best* part of the business:  I wouldn't need to worry
about collecting gambling debts!  Christ Church would come up with the money
out of the church's General Fund to pay for the debts of any of their flock
just like they did with the Morton Street House!

Of course, those folks might then be subject to enslavement by Wilson World
since, technically, they would be indebted to Wilson World, but . . . if
that's their interpretation of the Bible, maybe I'd be doing them a favor by
giving them a means to pretend that they live in a theocracy.  After all,
who am I to tell them  -- or their pastor --  they are just plain WRONG
about their Biblical interpretation?  And, if when faced with the actual
prospect of enslavement by Wilson World they decide they don't like it, well
. . . then I guess they can just be put to death since that's their
interpretation (Deuteronomy 17:12; I Tim. 1: 8-11). 


Saundra Lund
Moscow, ID

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do
nothing.
-Edmund Burke

-----Original Message-----
From: vision2020-admin@moscow.com [mailto:vision2020-admin@moscow.com] On
Behalf Of Art Deco
Sent: Friday, February 20, 2004 3:12 PM
To: vision2020@moscow.com
Subject: [Vision2020] Is Zume's on the market? [Reposted since two originals
did not appear.]


Fellow Entrepreneurs:

Rose Huskey has done an important community economic development service by
the suggestions in her latest posting requesting possible replacements for
Zume.

A few modest proposals:

Whatever business goes into the allegedly soon-to-be-vacant space of Zume
should recognize what a remarkable asset the other tenant in the building,
New Saint Andrews College, is.  In that spirit the following preliminary
suggestions are offered.  Those with ready capital to venture should contact
me via this list-serve.

Butts under the Nuts  A smoke shop.

A Touch of Sanity in a Building Run Amok  A mental health clinic.  This
business would probably have a ready made clientele already in the building.

Ground Floor Degrees An over-the-counter/mail order degree factory.  Again
this business might have an initial rush of business from those already in
the building.

Hot Crossed Buns  A bakery.  The thoughtful reader can make the connection
with New Saint Andrews (hint: think Thomas Garfield).

Rhetoric Masters  An off-shoot of New Saint Andrews where Nate Wilson and
Ben Merkle could showcase and sell their world class skills at rhetoric and
logic.  Perhaps Christ Church Cult Master Douglas Wilson would condescend to
present an occasional seminar on writing historical fiction .

Whores under the Bores  A modern partially web-based house of prostitution.
Not only might the other tenant of the building be a source for clients but
might also supply some employees.


This suggestion just in from the gleeful chaps at Grimfriars' Howl.

Don We now our Gay Apparel  A clothing store specializing in stylish
fashions for those with alternative lifestyles.  A secret door and changing
closet will be provided for those New Saint Andrews students and faculty
needing to secretly buy and wear these items in accordance with the old
Christian hymn from which the store's title directly comes.


Wayne Fox