[Vision2020] The Damage Done in this Community

[amy smoucha]

LuJane and all,

That's another good question.  The right to make medical decisions can be 
taken care of through durable powers of attorney, and some issues of 
property and inheritance through wills.  Other than that, the benefits can 
only be provided if a state or large employer decides to include domestic 
partner benefits, and insurance companies provide the coverage.  The issue 
relating to child custody can only be resolved if states allow step parent 
adoption for same sex couples--and only a few do.  And those laws may not 
apply in the next state over, where a family moves for a job.  The Social 
Security benefits issue can only be resolved by providing marriage or a huge 
change to Social Security law.

Understand, too, that some of these piecemeal solutions are unacceptable to 
many.  In Ohio recently, lawmakers enacted a ban on same-sex message and, in 
the same law, prohibited state institutions from granting domestic partner 
benefits to employees (a move that, by the way, harms heterosexual domestic 
partners and their children as well as gay & lesbian couples).  The fact 
that states are subject to whims of politics is what elevates the issue to a 
civil rights issue.  Ironically, conservatives who are all about states' 
rights want, in this instance, an amendment to the federal constitution to 
prevent states from providing such benefits to gays and lesbians.

This has never, never, never been at the top of my list of social justice 
issues.  In fact it still falls behind getting healthcare for everyone, 
making sure children have food, good education, healthy neighborhoods . . .  
  Protecting and providing for vulnerable folks like our elders, vets, 
people with mental illness.  But with all these problems to solve, many 
people and legislators are focusing on the benefits freely given to gays and 
lesbians--by churches, by companies, by Massachusetts--and they are acting 
as though we are the threat to American families.  Think about it.  Think 
about all the challenges (including above) families face.  How does 
Massachusetts providing for gay & lesbian marriage harm families?  How does 
a state or employer providing domestic partner benefits threaten families?  
The illogic and, frankly, the hatred and misunderstanding have sure gotten 
my attention.

The issues are so complex, and the solution could be simple.  If we had 
access to the civil institution of marriage for gays and lesbians, all of 
the issues would be addressed.  All the while, any church that wishes to can 
still withhold the sacrament of marriage and refuse to recognize us as 
married in the eyes of the church.  But legally, we'd have the same 
protections, options, rights and safety nets as any other married 
couples/families.

Amy Smoucha

----Original Message Follows----
From: "LuJane Nisse publisher" <lujane@lataheagle.com>
To: <asmoucha@hotmail.com>
CC: <vision2020@moscow.com>
Subject: RE: [Vision2020] The Damage Done in this Community
Date: Fri, 6 Feb 2004 22:11:57 -0800

could most of these things (below) be taken care of through other means...
i.e. Power of Attorney, wills, Living Wills? The insurance thing, I don't
know about but I'd think that is an "insurance" issue? or is it law? I don't
know who it is that decides who can be put on one's insurance as "family".
I'd think the insurance company decides that.

 >>>>>>>>>
Because we cannot participate in civil, legal marriage:
--when we have children and our relationship dissolves, laws about child
custody and parenting don't apply (and the children are not protected by
ensuring the support and access of both parents);
--when one of us is critically sick, the other is not the "spouse" with
rights to make medical decisions;
--we don't have access to benefits provided through Social Security that
married couples can count on in some cases of disability and death;
--unless a state specifically creates rights, we don't have access to
unemployment insurance if our spouse is relocated
--unless a state specifically creates rights, we can't get healthcare
through a spouse's employer, or education or other benefits related to a
spouse's employment.
 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

and I know what you are saying if it create the same thing it is in effect
the same thing.... I just wonder if it would appease the Bible thumpers and
those so adamantly against "marriage" per se. If the end result is the same
and everyone (or the majority) is okay with it, wouldn't it be good?

Doesn't matter, however, what I think or what compromises I think might
work. It surely is not up to me. I would love for everyone to just "get
along"... you know go back to kindergarten and the sand box and re-learn
those rules.

Maybe in my lifetime??

LJ

_________________________________________________________________
Let the advanced features & services of MSN Internet Software maximize your 
online time. http://click.atdmt.com/AVE/go/onm00200363ave/direct/01/