[Vision2020] Gay agenda
thansen@moscow.com
thansen@moscow.com
Thu, 29 Apr 2004 18:43:30 GMT
So.
Having been born and raised in Los Angeles and having always enjoyed oysters,
lobster and crab, the suggestion is that I may have had homosexual leanings
first grade thru high school. I wish that I would have known that then. That
would have doubled my chnaces for a date on Friday night.
Although throughout my high school years oxygen was my aphrodesiac, especially
on Friday nights on Mulholland Drive and on Saturday evenings in Topanga Canyon.
GOD I loved the sixties.
> Carl writes:
>
> >Regarding the "gay agenda", Tom: I have it on good authority from my
ga> y
> >friends (I must stress that I am most certainly straight. I'm so
straig> ht
> >and muy macho that I make John Wayne look like a simpering wimp. Just
w> ant
> >to make that, well, straight) that after they force everyone on the
plan> et
> >to become gay, we'll all have to have matching fuschia colored hair
cuts> ,
> >and everyone will have to wear matching Oshkosh B'Gosh overalls. And
we> 'll
> >all be forced to listen to nothing but Melissa Etheridge CDs. They
must> be
> >stopped.
>
>
> Attention Straights:
>
>
> If you want to get with the gay agenda, you must move to a large coastal
> city. San Francisco, New York, Seattle, New Orleans -- it doesn't
matter> , just so long as there's saltwater nearby. Gay people insist on
univers> al access to fresh seafood. I don't know if this is because oysters
are
> an aphrodesiac or if we're just averse to those "Beef: Real Food for
Real> People" ads. It's a mystery. Despite the best efforts of men like
Jerr> y Falwell and Doug Wilson, the true origins of queerness are lost in the
> dim mists of time. (I think it all began with Fred Flintstone and
Barney> Rubble. And didn't Rosie O'Donnell play Betty? Type-casting.)
>
> Apart from the coastal thing, we want equal civil rights. Not more, not
> less, just equal. That's it for the gay agenda. Finito. Nada mas.
Sum> toto. I can assure you that haircuts are unimportant. So, too, are
clo> thes and musical tastes. If you think we're all about forcing straight
A> merica to be stylish, then A) you've been watching too much "Queer Eye
fo> r the Straight Guy" and B) you don't know any lesbians. Lesbians
invente> d casual Friday . . . and casual Saturday, and casual Sunday, and
casual
> Monday through Thursday. Without us, there would be no khaki pants, no
T> eva sandals, and no polo shirts. It is the lesbians of America who keep
> Old Navy in business.
>
> Now, I must be off. I don't have the new Melissa Etheridge album.
>
> Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment
>
> PS: Walking like John Wayne is no proof that you're heterosexual. I've
b> een doing it for years.
>
>
>
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