[Vision2020] Gay agenda

thansen@moscow.com thansen@moscow.com
Thu, 29 Apr 2004 18:43:30 GMT


Having been born and raised in Los Angeles and having always enjoyed oysters, 
lobster and crab, the suggestion is that I may have had homosexual leanings 
first grade thru high school.  I wish that I would have known that then.  That 
would have doubled my chnaces for a date on Friday night.  

Although throughout my high school years oxygen was my aphrodesiac, especially 
on Friday nights on Mulholland Drive and on Saturday evenings in Topanga Canyon.

GOD I loved the sixties.

> Carl writes:
> >Regarding the "gay agenda", Tom:  I have it on good authority from my
ga> y  
> >friends (I must stress that I am most certainly straight.  I'm so
straig> ht  
> >and muy macho that I make John Wayne look like a simpering wimp.  Just
w> ant  
> >to make that, well, straight) that after they force everyone on the
plan> et  
> >to become gay, we'll all have to have matching fuschia colored hair
cuts> ,  
> >and everyone will have to wear matching Oshkosh B'Gosh overalls.  And
we> 'll  
> >all be forced to listen to nothing but Melissa Etheridge CDs.  They
must>  be  
> >stopped.                                                               
> Attention Straights:
> If you want to get with the gay agenda, you must move to a large coastal
> city.  San Francisco, New York, Seattle, New Orleans -- it doesn't
matter> , just so long as there's saltwater nearby.  Gay people insist on
univers> al access to fresh seafood.  I don't know if this is because oysters 
> an aphrodesiac or if we're just averse to those "Beef: Real Food for
Real>  People" ads.  It's a mystery.  Despite the best efforts of men like
Jerr> y Falwell and Doug Wilson, the true origins of queerness are lost in the
> dim mists of time.  (I think it all began with Fred Flintstone and
Barney>  Rubble.  And didn't Rosie O'Donnell play Betty?  Type-casting.)
> Apart from the coastal thing, we want equal civil rights.  Not more, not
> less, just equal.  That's it for the gay agenda.  Finito.  Nada mas. 
Sum>  toto.  I can assure you that haircuts are unimportant.  So, too, are
clo> thes and musical tastes.  If you think we're all about forcing straight
A> merica to be stylish, then A) you've been watching too much "Queer Eye
fo> r the Straight Guy" and B) you don't know any lesbians.  Lesbians
invente> d casual Friday . . . and casual Saturday, and casual Sunday, and 
> Monday through Thursday.  Without us, there would be no khaki pants, no
T> eva sandals, and no polo shirts.  It is the lesbians of America who keep
> Old Navy in business.
> Now, I must be off.  I don't have the new Melissa Etheridge album.
> Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment
> PS: Walking like John Wayne is no proof that you're heterosexual.  I've
b> een doing it for years.     
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