[Vision2020] Gay agenda

thansen@moscow.com thansen@moscow.com
Thu, 29 Apr 2004 18:40:03 GMT


Having been born and raised in Los Angeles and having always enjoyed oysters, 
lobster and crab, the suggestion is that I may have had homosexual leanings 
first grade thru high school.  

Although throughout my high school years oxygen was my aphrodesiac, especially 
on Friday nights on Mulholland Drive and on Saturday evenings in Topanga Canyon.

GOD I loved the sixties.

> Carl writes:
> >Regarding the "gay agenda", Tom:  I have it on good authority from my
ga> y  
> >friends (I must stress that I am most certainly straight.  I'm so
straig> ht  
> >and muy macho that I make John Wayne look like a simpering wimp.  Just
w> ant  
> >to make that, well, straight) that after they force everyone on the
plan> et  
> >to become gay, we'll all have to have matching fuschia colored hair
cuts> ,  
> >and everyone will have to wear matching Oshkosh B'Gosh overalls.  And
we> 'll  
> >all be forced to listen to nothing but Melissa Etheridge CDs.  They
must>  be  
> >stopped.                                                               
> Attention Straights:
> If you want to get with the gay agenda, you must move to a large coastal
> city.  San Francisco, New York, Seattle, New Orleans -- it doesn't
matter> , just so long as there's saltwater nearby.  Gay people insist on
univers> al access to fresh seafood.  I don't know if this is because oysters 
> an aphrodesiac or if we're just averse to those "Beef: Real Food for
Real>  People" ads.  It's a mystery.  Despite the best efforts of men like
Jerr> y Falwell and Doug Wilson, the true origins of queerness are lost in the
> dim mists of time.  (I think it all began with Fred Flintstone and
Barney>  Rubble.  And didn't Rosie O'Donnell play Betty?  Type-casting.)
> Apart from the coastal thing, we want equal civil rights.  Not more, not
> less, just equal.  That's it for the gay agenda.  Finito.  Nada mas. 
Sum>  toto.  I can assure you that haircuts are unimportant.  So, too, are
clo> thes and musical tastes.  If you think we're all about forcing straight
A> merica to be stylish, then A) you've been watching too much "Queer Eye
fo> r the Straight Guy" and B) you don't know any lesbians.  Lesbians
invente> d casual Friday . . . and casual Saturday, and casual Sunday, and 
> Monday through Thursday.  Without us, there would be no khaki pants, no
T> eva sandals, and no polo shirts.  It is the lesbians of America who keep
> Old Navy in business.
> Now, I must be off.  I don't have the new Melissa Etheridge album.
> Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment
> PS: Walking like John Wayne is no proof that you're heterosexual.  I've
b> een doing it for years.     
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