[Vision2020] Gay agenda

Joan Opyr auntiestablishment@hotmail.com
Thu, 29 Apr 2004 10:40:57 -0700 

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Carl writes:

>Regarding the "gay agenda", Tom:  I have it on good authority from my ga=
y =20
>friends (I must stress that I am most certainly straight.  I'm so straig=
ht =20
>and muy macho that I make John Wayne look like a simpering wimp.  Just w=
ant =20
>to make that, well, straight) that after they force everyone on the plan=
et =20
>to become gay, we'll all have to have matching fuschia colored hair cuts=
, =20
>and everyone will have to wear matching Oshkosh B'Gosh overalls.  And we=
'll =20
>all be forced to listen to nothing but Melissa Etheridge CDs.  They must=
 be =20
>stopped.                                                                =
     =20

Attention Straights:
                                                                         =
    =20
If you want to get with the gay agenda, you must move to a large coastal =
city.  San Francisco, New York, Seattle, New Orleans -- it doesn't matter=
, just so long as there's saltwater nearby.  Gay people insist on univers=
al access to fresh seafood.  I don't know if this is because oysters are =
an aphrodesiac or if we're just averse to those "Beef: Real Food for Real=
 People" ads.  It's a mystery.  Despite the best efforts of men like Jerr=
y Falwell and Doug Wilson, the true origins of queerness are lost in the =
dim mists of time.  (I think it all began with Fred Flintstone and Barney=
 Rubble.  And didn't Rosie O'Donnell play Betty?  Type-casting.)

Apart from the coastal thing, we want equal civil rights.  Not more, not =
less, just equal.  That's it for the gay agenda.  Finito.  Nada mas.  Sum=
 toto.  I can assure you that haircuts are unimportant.  So, too, are clo=
thes and musical tastes.  If you think we're all about forcing straight A=
merica to be stylish, then A) you've been watching too much "Queer Eye fo=
r the Straight Guy" and B) you don't know any lesbians.  Lesbians invente=
d casual Friday . . . and casual Saturday, and casual Sunday, and casual =
Monday through Thursday.  Without us, there would be no khaki pants, no T=
eva sandals, and no polo shirts.  It is the lesbians of America who keep =
Old Navy in business.

Now, I must be off.  I don't have the new Melissa Etheridge album.

Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment

PS: Walking like John Wayne is no proof that you're heterosexual.  I've b=
een doing it for years.    =20

                                                                         =
        =20
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<HTML><BODY STYLE=3D"font:10pt verdana; border:none;"><DIV>Carl writes:</=
DIV> <DIV>&nbsp;</DIV> <DIV>&gt;Regarding the "gay agenda", Tom:&nbsp; I =
have it on good authority from my gay <BR>&gt;friends (I must stress that=
 I am most certainly straight.&nbsp; I'm so straight <BR>&gt;and muy mach=
o that I make John Wayne look like a simpering wimp.&nbsp; Just want <BR>=
&gt;to make that, well, straight) that after they force everyone on the p=
lanet <BR>&gt;to become gay, we'll all have to have matching fuschia colo=
red hair cuts, <BR>&gt;and everyone will have to wear matching Oshkosh B'=
Gosh overalls.&nbsp; And we'll <BR>&gt;all be forced to listen to nothing=
 but Melissa Etheridge CDs.&nbsp; They must be <BR>&gt;stopped.&nbsp;&nbs=
p;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp=
;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;=
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bsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nb=
sp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<BR></DIV> <DIV>Attention Straight=
s:</DIV> <DIV>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp=
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sp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbs=
p;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<BR>If you want to get with the gay=
 agenda,&nbsp;you must move to a large coastal city.&nbsp;&nbsp;San Franc=
isco, New York, Seattle, New Orleans --&nbsp;it doesn't matter, just so l=
ong as there's saltwater nearby.&nbsp; Gay people insist on universal acc=
ess to fresh seafood.&nbsp; I don't know if this is because oysters are a=
n aphrodesiac or if we're just averse to&nbsp;those "Beef: Real Food for =
Real People" ads.&nbsp;&nbsp;It's a mystery.&nbsp;&nbsp;Despite the best =
efforts of men like&nbsp;Jerry Falwell and Doug Wilson, the true origins =
of&nbsp;queerness are lost in the dim mists of time.&nbsp; (I think it al=
l began with Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble.&nbsp; And didn't Rosie O'=
Donnell play Betty?&nbsp; Type-casting.)</DIV> <DIV>&nbsp;</DIV> <DIV>Apa=
rt from the coastal thing,&nbsp;we want&nbsp;equal civil rights.&nbsp; No=
t more,&nbsp;not less, just equal.&nbsp;&nbsp;That's it for the gay agend=
a.&nbsp; Finito.&nbsp; Nada mas.&nbsp; Sum toto.&nbsp; I can assure you t=
hat&nbsp;haircuts are unimportant.&nbsp; So, too, are&nbsp;clothes and mu=
sical tastes.&nbsp; If you think we're all about forcing straight&nbsp;Am=
erica to be stylish, then A) you've&nbsp;been watching too much "Queer Ey=
e for the Straight Guy" and B) you don't know any lesbians.&nbsp;&nbsp;Le=
sbians&nbsp;invented casual Friday . . . and casual Saturday, and casual =
Sunday, and casual Monday through Thursday.&nbsp; Without us, there would=
 be no khaki pants, no Teva sandals, and no polo shirts.&nbsp;&nbsp;It is=
 the lesbians of America who keep Old Navy in business.</DIV> <DIV>&nbsp;=
</DIV> <DIV>Now, I must be off.&nbsp; I don't have the new Melissa Etheri=
dge album.</DIV> <DIV>&nbsp;</DIV> <DIV>Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment</D=
IV> <DIV>&nbsp;</DIV> <DIV>PS:&nbsp;Walking like John Wayne is no proof t=
hat you're&nbsp;heterosexual.&nbsp; I've been doing it for years.&nbsp;&n=
bsp;&nbsp; </DIV> <DIV>&nbsp;</DIV> <DIV>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&n=
bsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nb=
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bsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </DIV></BODY></HTML><br clear=3Dall><hr>Get =
more from the Web.  FREE MSN Explorer download : <a href=3D'http://explor=
er.msn.com'>http://explorer.msn.com</a><br></p>

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