[Vision2020] Plants Rights Society

[Robert Dickow]

I am hereby forming a Plants Rights Society. This organization would be a
social and political pressure group (possibly a militant one) that would
promote the recognition and protection of the the inalienable rights of
plants.

"The Plants Rights Society is dedicated to the protection and recognition of
plants as equal partners with animals on our planet. We recognize plants as
living things. We hold that all plants, whether possessing chlorophyll or
not possessing said chemical, including organisms such as fungi, lichen,
slime molds, and algaes, as well as singled-celled forms of said creatures,
be afforded equal protection under the law equal as those provided humans
and animals."

Among our tenets and goals:

(1) Tractors, threshers, combines, and related farm equipment must come up
to minimum standards for 'humane' administration of the processing of plant
material used for food.
(2) Plants grown for ornamental or nutritional use must be afforded clean
water.... no 'gray' water or other water of dubious quality may be given.
That stuff tastes horrible to humans and it does to plants too. Just ask
one.
(3) Plants may not be destroyed inhumanely in the course of scientific
research. (Any plant put to death in the course of experimentation should be
anaesthetized beforehand, for example via a period of refrigeration before
being (...eughch!) dispatched.)
(4) A plant handler must be on hand to monitor the treatment of plants
during the filming of motion pictures or television videotaping. We will not
tolerate mistreatment of plants (remember those closing shots in Apocalypse
Now where all the palm trees are getting Napalmed? That's were we get the
word Napalm from.... Nay + Palm. Sickening wasn't it?)
(5) People who deglect or abuse house and garden plants will be subject to
severe civil and/or criminal penalties.
(6) Plants have the right to sue their caretakers, whether private citizens,
municipalities or governments in a court of law.
(7) Plants have the right to legal counsel.
(8) Vegetarianism of any kind, including so-called 'Vegan' dietary
practices, would be strictly forbidden. Discrimination against one single
major branch of the biological life forms on earth can not be tolerated.
Meals that include fruit, vegetables, etc must include appropriate portions
of meat as well.

I welcome others to join me in this noble cause.

Bob Dickow, President and Founder
Plants Rights Society
Moscow, Idaho