[Vision2020] Cloning (you're ALL on the wrong track)

[Tim Lohrmann]

To the cloning concerned:
     The top secret, but recently leaked, true reason
for the UI mule research actually has nothing to do
with human health. The research on these freely
kicking critters is covertly funded by the NFL and
NCAA. 
    The ultimate goal is grafting certain mule
characteristics--forceful kicking power--into the
genetic profile of members of an already-selected
Slovenian soccer playing family. This union will, it
is hoped, produce a line of creatures that will "pass"
as human but with all the leg power of a full grown
mule cammed into its much shorter extremities. 
   Ethical concerns? You betcha. 
   But the Slovenians are behind it. The mules? Well a
persisten stubborn streak has prevented them from
stating a clear postition. But they don't seem to
mind.  
   And most importantly, if we can prevent just one
NFL or NCAA team from avoiding a heartbreaking,
season-crippling last second loss because of
lackluster legs, it will all have been worthwhile. 
So ethcics shmethics, who needs'em with the first 75
yard field goal squarely in our sights??
   TL



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