[Vision2020] Ten reasons to invade Canada

Fri, 14 Mar 2003 17:18:19 -0800

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Dear Visionairies;

  In a forum devoted to higher level thinking and erudite questioning,
all this mumbo jumbo about invading Canada or Texas is really rather
bush league!

John

jdanahy@turbonet.com

-----Original Message-----
From: vision2020-admin@moscow.com [mailto:vision2020-admin@moscow.com]
On Behalf Of Joan Opyr
Sent: Friday, March 14, 2003 1:23 PM
To: Vision2020 Moscow
Subject: [Vision2020] Ten reasons to invade Canada

Ten Reasons for Invading Canada:

1. Shania Twain.  This Toronto native's latest hit is brazenly entitled
"I'm Gonna Getcha Good!"  I've heard the song.  I've seen the video.
It's clearly a threat. 

2. The Red Green Show.  Long before Tom Ridge came along, Mr. Green
referred to duct tape as "the handy man's secret weapon."  We must
freeze the assets of Possum Lodge.

3. Wayne Gretzky.  He's known worldwide as "The Great One."  This is in
marked contrast to our own international sobriquet, The Great Satan.
Also, why is it that in poll after poll he has continued to be named
Canada's most popular citizen despite the fact that he hasn't lived
there since he was traded from Edmonton to Los Angeles fifteen years
ago?  Retired or not, he's clearly a sleeper.  (NB: When I was a kid, we
used to repair our hockey sticks with duct tape.  I think this is
significant.  See item #2.)

4. Leonard Cohen.  His compositions are clearly meant to depress and
demoralize the average American listener.  Ditto Joni Mitchell.

5. Victoria, BC.  Okay, there's nothing wrong with Victoria.  I just
think the Butchart Gardens are nicer than Camp David. 

6. Jim Carrey.  For crimes against comedy.

7. Jim Carrey.  For crimes against acting.

8. Jim Carrey.  For reminding us of Andy Kaufman.

9. Jim Carrey.  For reminding us of Jerry Lewis.

10. Jim Carrey.  For crimes against comedy and acting and for reminding
us of Andy Kaufman and Jerry Lewis.

--Joan Opyr, AKA Auntie Establishment     

  _____  

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<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D3 color=3Dblue face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:blue'>Dear =
Visionairies;</span></font></p>

<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D3 color=3Dblue face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:blue'>&nbsp; In a forum devoted to higher =
level
thinking and erudite questioning, all this mumbo jumbo about invading =
Canada or
Texas is really rather bush league!</span></font></p>

<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D3 color=3Dblue face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:blue'>John</span></font></p>

<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D3 color=3Dblue face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:blue'><a =
href=3D"mailto:jdanahy@turbonet.com">jdanahy@turbonet.com</a></span></fon=
t></p>

<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D3 color=3Dblue face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:blue'>&nbsp;</span></font></p>

<p class=3DMsoNormal><font size=3D3 color=3Dblue face=3DArial><span =
style=3D'font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:blue'>&nbsp;</span></font></p>

<p class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'margin-left:.5in'><font size=3D2 =
face=3DTahoma><span
style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Tahoma'>-----Original =
Message-----<br>
<b><span style=3D'font-weight:bold'>From:</span></b> =
vision2020-admin@moscow.com
[mailto:vision2020-admin@moscow.com] <b><span =
style=3D'font-weight:bold'>On
Behalf Of </span></b>Joan Opyr<br>
<b><span style=3D'font-weight:bold'>Sent:</span></b> Friday, March 14, =
2003 1:23
PM<br>
<b><span style=3D'font-weight:bold'>To:</span></b> Vision2020 Moscow<br>
<b><span style=3D'font-weight:bold'>Subject:</span></b> [Vision2020] Ten =
reasons
to invade Canada</span></font></p>

<p class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'margin-left:.5in'><font size=3D3 =
face=3D"Times New Roman"><span
style=3D'font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></font></p>

<div>

<p class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'margin-left:.5in'><font size=3D2 =
face=3DVerdana><span
style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Ten Reasons for Invading =
Canada:</span></font></p>

</div>

<div>

<p class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'margin-left:.5in'><font size=3D2 =
face=3DVerdana><span
style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>&nbsp;</span></font></p>

</div>

<div>

1. Shania Twain.&nbsp; =
This
Toronto native's latest hit is brazenly entitled &quot;I'm Gonna Getcha
Good!&quot;&nbsp; I've heard the song.&nbsp; I've seen the video.&nbsp; =
It's
clearly a threat.&nbsp;

</div>

<div>

<p class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'margin-left:.5in'><font size=3D2 =
face=3DVerdana><span
style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>&nbsp;</span></font></p>

</div>

<div>

2. The Red Green =
Show.&nbsp;&nbsp;Long
before Tom Ridge came along, Mr.&nbsp;Green referred to duct tape as =
&quot;the
handy man's secret weapon.&quot;&nbsp;&nbsp;We must freeze the assets
of&nbsp;Possum Lodge.

</div>

<div>

<p class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'margin-left:.5in'><font size=3D2 =
face=3DVerdana><span
style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>&nbsp;</span></font></p>

</div>

<div>

3. Wayne =
Gretzky.&nbsp;&nbsp;He's
known worldwide as&nbsp;&quot;The&nbsp;Great One.&quot;&nbsp; This is
in&nbsp;marked contrast to our own international sobriquet,&nbsp;The =
Great
Satan.&nbsp; Also, why is it that in poll after poll he has continued to =
be
named&nbsp;Canada's most popular citizen despite the fact that he hasn't =
lived
there since he was traded from&nbsp;Edmonton&nbsp;to Los =
Angeles&nbsp;fifteen
years ago?&nbsp; Retired or not,&nbsp;he's clearly a&nbsp;sleeper.&nbsp; =
(NB:
When I was a kid, we used to repair our hockey sticks with duct =
tape.&nbsp; I
think this is significant.&nbsp; See item #2.)

</div>

<div>

<p class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'margin-left:.5in'><font size=3D2 =
face=3DVerdana><span
style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>&nbsp;</span></font></p>

</div>

<div>

4. Leonard Cohen.&nbsp; =
His
compositions are clearly meant to depress and demoralize the average =
American
listener.&nbsp; Ditto Joni Mitchell.

</div>

<div>

<p class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'margin-left:.5in'><font size=3D2 =
face=3DVerdana><span
style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>&nbsp;</span></font></p>

</div>

<div>

5. Victoria, BC.&nbsp; =
Okay,
there's nothing wrong with Victoria.&nbsp; I just think the Butchart =
Gardens
are nicer than Camp David.&nbsp;

</div>

<div>

<p class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'margin-left:.5in'><font size=3D2 =
face=3DVerdana><span
style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>&nbsp;</span></font></p>

</div>

<div>

6. Jim Carrey.&nbsp; For =
crimes
against comedy.

</div>

<div>

<p class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'margin-left:.5in'><font size=3D2 =
face=3DVerdana><span
style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>&nbsp;</span></font></p>

</div>

<div>

7. Jim Carrey.&nbsp; For =
crimes
against acting.

</div>

<div>

<p class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'margin-left:.5in'><font size=3D2 =
face=3DVerdana><span
style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>&nbsp;</span></font></p>

</div>

<div>

8. Jim =
Carrey.&nbsp;&nbsp;For
reminding us of&nbsp;Andy Kaufman.

</div>

<div>

<p class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'margin-left:.5in'><font size=3D2 =
face=3DVerdana><span
style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>&nbsp;</span></font></p>

</div>

<div>

9. Jim Carrey.&nbsp; For =
reminding
us&nbsp;of Jerry Lewis.

</div>

<div>

<p class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'margin-left:.5in'><font size=3D2 =
face=3DVerdana><span
style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>&nbsp;</span></font></p>

</div>

<div>

10. Jim Carrey.&nbsp;
For&nbsp;crimes against comedy and acting and for reminding us of Andy =
Kaufman
and Jerry Lewis.

</div>

<div>

<p class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'margin-left:.5in'><font size=3D2 =
face=3DVerdana><span
style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>&nbsp;</span></font></p>

</div>

<div>

<p class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'margin-left:.5in'><font size=3D2 =
face=3DVerdana><span
style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>--Joan Opyr, AKA Auntie
Establishment&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></font></p>

</div>

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<br clear=3Dall><hr>Get more from the Web.  FREE MSN Explorer download : =
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