[Vision2020] Ten reasons to invade Canada

[Tim Lohrmann]

Joan,
   Here's a proposal for #11:
   11. Gordon Lightfoot. 

'Nuff said?

Almost.

One of his ex-groupies was with John Belushi when John
did one too many "eightballs."

Sounds like harboring terrorism to me. Retribution is
long past due. 

"Cuh-nay-dee-uns you better take care if I find you've
been creeping cross my bor-dere."



--- Joan Opyr <auntiestablishment@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Ten Reasons for Invading Canada:
> 
> 1. Shania Twain.  This Toronto native's latest hit
> is brazenly entitled "I'm Gonna Getcha Good!"  I've
> heard the song.  I've seen the video.  It's clearly
> a threat.  
> 
> 2. The Red Green Show.  Long before Tom Ridge came
> along, Mr. Green referred to duct tape as "the handy
> man's secret weapon."  We must freeze the assets of
> Possum Lodge.
> 
> 3. Wayne Gretzky.  He's known worldwide as "The
> Great One."  This is in marked contrast to our own
> international sobriquet, The Great Satan.  Also, why
> is it that in poll after poll he has continued to be
> named Canada's most popular citizen despite the fact
> that he hasn't lived there since he was traded from
> Edmonton to Los Angeles fifteen years ago?  Retired
> or not, he's clearly a sleeper.  (NB: When I was a
> kid, we used to repair our hockey sticks with duct
> tape.  I think this is significant.  See item #2.)
> 
> 4. Leonard Cohen.  His compositions are clearly
> meant to depress and demoralize the average American
> listener.  Ditto Joni Mitchell.
> 
> 5. Victoria, BC.  Okay, there's nothing wrong with
> Victoria.  I just think the Butchart Gardens are
> nicer than Camp David.  
> 
> 6. Jim Carrey.  For crimes against comedy.
> 
> 7. Jim Carrey.  For crimes against acting.
> 
> 8. Jim Carrey.  For reminding us of Andy Kaufman.
> 
> 9. Jim Carrey.  For reminding us of Jerry Lewis.
> 
> 10. Jim Carrey.  For crimes against comedy and
> acting and for reminding us of Andy Kaufman and
> Jerry Lewis.
> 
> --Joan Opyr, AKA Auntie Establishment     Get more
> from the Web.  FREE MSN Explorer download :
> http://explorer.msn.com
> 


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