[Vision2020] bonhom lacrosse

Tue, 11 Mar 2003 10:21:48 -0800

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<P>When I played rugby at UC Davis (poorly, on the third and fourth sides; opposing players took turns seeing how far they could fling me), we loathed the lacrosse players. We called them Pretty Boys, who protected their delicate facial features by wearing helmets with face masks, and confirmed their cowardice by wearing pads. It did not escape our attention that their games drew more attractive women than did ours, and lots more of them; apparently our practice of singing vulgar and boorish songs and dousing each other with the beer we didn’t drink at our post-game parties made us less than charming companions.</P>
<P>For their part, the lacrosse club viewed us as drunken louts, and occasionally publicly observed that our ears grew lumpier as the season wore on, most of us had broken noses, and we were idiots. </P>
<P>It is in that spirit that I rise to your bait, Nate, to condemn the formation of the Bonham Lacrosse Club. Again, Dale, I must protest your willingness to put liberals in boxes. I, as a liberal, care not that Native Americans started this vile game you embrace; it bothers me not at all that white male Englishmen invented rugby. On behalf of drunken louts of all colors and creeds, I challenge you to forsake lacrosse and instead play a real game, one whose intense physicality begins where lacrosse players leave off, retreating home and weeping into their hankies.</P>
<P>P.S. Based upon his own report of his boxing match, I must exclude Nate from the Pretty Boy category of lacrosse players. Also, his willingness to box indicates that he may have an inner rugby player, yearning for freedom. </P>
<P>Sunil Ramalingam</P>
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