[Vision2020] [Vision 2020] Reply to Donovan RE: Poly*

[TEX]

A friend who wishes to remain anonymous asked me to post the following:

Donovan Arnold writes:

> Polygamy is a violation of human rights in numerous levels.

That's a pretty strong statement!  Human rights!  Wow.


> First, marriage requires that you place all loyalty to one person.
> How can you do that when you are married to multiple people?

No, marriage doesn't require you to place your loyalty in one person.
Where did you pick up on that?


> Second, it allows the spread of disease, against the interests of the
> state and the community.

Heh.  The spread of disease is pretty much never in the interests of
the state or community, except maybe for measles or something.


> One of the members of the union engages in sexual relations with
> someone outside the marriage and it goes to everyone, and could
> spread to many more children.

That's correct.  If none of the members of the union have sexual relations
outside of marriage, they're unlikely to pick up an STD.  Note that this
is true *regardless of the number of partners*.  It applies to monogamous
relationships as well as polygamous relationships.

(As an aside, how do you feel about abstinence before marriage?)


> Third, it allows the suppression of women.

Some would say that monogamous marriage suppresses women, too.  You just
can't win...

By the way, let's be clear on the terms here.

polygyny:  where men have more than one wife at a time
polyandry: where women have more than one husband at a time
polygamy:  where one has more than one spouse at a time
           (usually used in place of "polygyny")

Most of what you say in this message (and others) refers to polygny.

> Fourth, it creates confusion in matters of divorce. Can the divorcing
> women sue all the ones he is married to also? If so, why is that fair?
> If not, he can transfer all his wealth to the others he is married to
> as well, leaving the women with nothing to raise her children on?

I don't see any problem here that can't be worked out.  Keep in mind that
societies and cultures change.  Similar questions existed in the past,
when women didn't have the right to divorce or buy birth control or own
property, etc.


> Fifth, how can one person swear to be monogamist to more than one
> person? Is this not an important part of marriage?

Sure, one who swears to be monogamous should keep his/her promise.
However, not all do because not all are asked to do so.


> Sixth, who gets the benefits of life insurance, health insurance, and
> other benefits? If you have 20 wives, which one gets the dental benefit,
> which one gets the medicine? You could argue that businesses should
> provide health insurance for all the wives and children, but which
> children are his if they each have 20 husbands?

I think recent scientific advances have helped in the paternity
determination issue.  As for the rest, I think everyone should get the
benefits.  I mean, stepchildren get medical and other benefits now.  How
is that any different (other than the serial monogamy/polygamy
difference)?


> You would also
> have bickering between the different health insurance companies as to
> which should pay for the costs of medical expenses.

If you have six kids instead of the proverbial 2.3, you'd expect to pay
more for medical/etc.  Why should it be any different if you have two
wives, or three?


> Seventh, how is it fair to a spouse if one decides to marry another
> when they don't have a say in manner?

Certainly, it isn't fair at all.  In some cultures, it's a requirement
that one can't take on another wife without the consent of the current
wife (or wives).  However, that's a societal/cultural thing.  The best you
can do is codify it as law.


> Polygamy is a
> heterosexual thing that was knocked down to protect the rights
> of women that were being abused in the relationship.

That is simply not true.  Read up on your history.  The early
pronouncements by the Christian church regarding polygamy came about to
make Christianity more palatable to the Greco-Roman empire, who didn't
have polygamy in their culture.

If you have to treat all your spouses equally, you'll figure out pretty
fast why polygamy's relatively rare, even in polygamous cultures.


An anonymous friend of Tex