<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><br></div><div>Courtesy of the New Yorker at:</div><div><br></div><div><a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/elon-musk-to-seek-life-on-mars-and-keep-it-from-unionizing?utm_source=nl&utm_brand=tny&utm_mailing=TNY_Borowitz_02142023&utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_medium=email&bxid=5bea112b3f92a40469640747&cndid=24494982&hasha=fcf5f751d983fab314fe7ded63633933&hashb=6018563f5ade416eb6bc5de029040538e8428a87&hashc=5b2de1b62cf02ee03360af7fdb18f191bd4d6e9c5ea1abaf4247b3b6d1a52533&esrc=article-newsletter&utm_term=TNY_Borowitz">https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/elon-musk-to-seek-life-on-mars-and-keep-it-from-unionizing?utm_source=nl&utm_brand=tny&utm_mailing=TNY_Borowitz_02142023&utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_medium=email&bxid=5bea112b3f92a40469640747&cndid=24494982&hasha=fcf5f751d983fab314fe7ded63633933&hashb=6018563f5ade416eb6bc5de029040538e8428a87&hashc=5b2de1b62cf02ee03360af7fdb18f191bd4d6e9c5ea1abaf4247b3b6d1a52533&esrc=article-newsletter&utm_term=TNY_Borowitz</a></div><div><br></div><div>——————————————————</div><div><h1 data-testid="ContentHeaderHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-UrHlS BaseText-fFrHpW ContentHeaderHed-kpDkgd boMZdO jCLxSV bxWbTA" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 44.20000076293945px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; --type-token: consumptionEditorial.hed-standard; font-family: IrvinHeadingWeb, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-feature-settings: normal; line-break: auto; line-height: 1.130090495492055em; font-weight: 400; overflow-wrap: normal; transition-property: color, background, text-shadow; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-timing-function: ease-in-out; cursor: unset; grid-column-start: 1; grid-column-end: span 8; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Elon Musk to Seek Life on Mars and Keep It from Unionizing</h1></div><div><br></div><p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px;">AUSTIN (<a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report" data-uri="a97d139e24de73bb642714dd93623f74" style="box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; --color__token-name: colors.interactive.base.light; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); transition: color 200ms ease 0s; line-height: inherit; text-decoration-line: underline;">The Borowitz Report</a>)—Elon Musk has announced plans to seek life on Mars and, if successful, to prevent it from unionizing.</p><p class="paywall" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; box-sizing: border-box;">The billionaire said that he would personally talk to the Martians and persuade them that joining a union would be a mistake that he’ll “make sure they’ll regret.”</p><p class="paywall" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: TNYAdobeCaslonPro, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 21px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">“Right now, there appears to be water on Mars,” he said. “But if they join a union I’ll take away their water.”</p><p class="paywall" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: TNYAdobeCaslonPro, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 21px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Musk added that he would offer Martians an opportunity to work at Twitter, “but not if they want to work remotely.”</p><p class="paywall" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: TNYAdobeCaslonPro, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 21px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: none;">——————————————————</span></p><div class="teads-inread sm-screen" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; 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background-size: 15px 15px; z-index: 1; margin-bottom: 0px !important; background-position: 100% center; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat;"><div class="teads-player" id="teads0" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 0px !important;"><iframe allow="autoplay; attribution-reporting 'src' https://cm.teads.tv" scrolling="no" title="vpaid-ui" frameborder="0" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 481px !important; height: 571px !important; border-width: 0px !important; overflow: hidden !important; float: none !important; max-height: 571px !important;"></iframe></div></div></div></div><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://www.MoscowCares.net</span></div><div><br></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><br></div><div>“A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met.”</div><div>- Roy E. Stolworthy</div><div></div></div></body></html>