<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto">Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker</i> at:<div><br></div><div><a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/poll-shows-most-democrats-have-taken-advantage-of-early-drinking">https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/poll-shows-most-democrats-have-taken-advantage-of-early-drinking</a></div><div><br></div><div>————————————————-</div><div><h1 class="content-header__row content-header__hed" data-testid="ContentHeaderHed" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 44.2px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; grid-column-start: 1; grid-column-end: span 8; --type-token-name: consumptionEditorial.hed-standard; line-height: 1.13009em; font-family: IrvinHeadingWeb, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: 400; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Poll Shows Most Democrats Have Taken Advantage of Early Drinking</h1></div><div><br></div><div><p style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (<a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report" style="color: rgb(149, 79, 114); box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; transition: color 200ms ease; line-height: inherit;"><span style="color: black;">The Borowitz Report</span></a>)—A new poll indicates that the vast majority of Democratic voters have taken advantage of early drinking ahead of the 2020 election.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; box-sizing: border-box; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">In contrast to 2016, when many Democrats did not begin drinking in earnest until well into Election Night, the poll indicates that these same voters started consuming alcohol days and even weeks before November 3rd.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; box-sizing: border-box; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">“By the time I started drinking in 2016, it was too late for me to fully anesthetize myself,” Harland Dorrinson, an Arizona Democrat who started drinking last Thursday, said. “That’s why I went for the early-drinking option.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">According to the poll, white wine, long considered a favorite of certain Democratic constituencies, was the choice of only twenty-four per cent of the early drinkers, while vodka, scotch, and other spirits garnered the support of a whopping fifty-nine per cent.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><br></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">The surging support for hard liquor is an indication that Democrats are taking early drinking more seriously than they did in 2016, experts say.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">Carol Foyler, a Pennsylvania voter who began early drinking in September, said that she had not stocked enough alcohol in her home in 2016 but was better prepared this year. “I made a plan to drink,” she said.<o:p></o:p></span></p></div><div><br></div><div>————————————————-<br><br><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/">http://www.moscowcares.com/</a></div><div><br></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div>
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif">“A
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