<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div dir="ltr"><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8">Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker</i> at:<div><br></div><div><a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-to-throw-out-first-amendment-at-yankee-stadium">https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-to-throw-out-first-amendment-at-yankee-stadium</a></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————</div><div><h1 class="content-header__row content-header__hed" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 44.2px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; grid-column-start: 1; grid-column-end: span 8; line-height: 1.13009em; font-family: IrvinHeadingWeb, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: 400; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Trump to Throw Out First Amendment at Yankee Stadium</h1></div><div><br></div><div><p style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">WASHINGTON (<a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report" style="color: rgb(149, 79, 114); box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; transition: color 0.2s ease; line-height: inherit;"><span style="color: black;">The Borowitz Report</span></a>)—In an event that he described as “historic,” Donald J. Trump announced that he will throw out the First Amendment at Yankee Stadium next month.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; box-sizing: border-box; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">“It’s going to be an amazing and fantastic thing I’ll be doing,” Trump said. “I’ve asked a lot of history experts, and they all say that no President has thrown out an amendment before.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; box-sizing: border-box; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">“Obama was President for eight years and never threw out an amendment,” he said. “What a loser.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; box-sizing: border-box; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Trump said that he had considered throwing out the First Amendment “many, many times before” but had ultimately decided to preserve freedom of the press for his friends at Fox News.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">“But, thanks to that beauty Chris Wallace, now I know that Fox is just as nasty and fake as the rest,” he said. “The only real journalist left is that nice lady at OAN.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><br></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">When asked how he is preparing for his Yankee Stadium appearance, Trump said that he is consulting with other world leaders who are experienced in throwing out laws.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><br></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">“I had a terrific conversation with Vladimir Putin,” Trump said. “They don’t have a First Amendment in Russia, but he said that, if they did, he would definitely throw it out. So that made me feel good.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><br></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">Trump grew misty-eyed as he contemplated his upcoming visit to Yankee Stadium.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><br></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">“I can’t believe I’ll be throwing out the First Amendment,” he said. “Every little boy dreams of this.”<o:p></o:p></span></p></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————<br><br><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.TomandRodna.com/MoscowCares</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div></div></div></div></body></html>