<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div dir="ltr">Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker</i> at:<div><br></div><div><a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/americans-overwhelmingly-favor-sending-trump-back-to-school-in-fall">https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/americans-overwhelmingly-favor-sending-trump-back-to-school-in-fall</a></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————-</div><div><h1 class="content-header__row content-header__hed" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 44.2px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; grid-column-start: 1; grid-column-end: span 8; line-height: 1.13009em; font-family: IrvinHeadingWeb, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: 400; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Americans Overwhelmingly Favor Sending Trump Back to School in Fall</h1></div><div><br></div><div><p style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">WASHINGTON, D.C. (<a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report" style="color: rgb(149, 79, 114); box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; transition: color 0.2s ease; line-height: inherit;"><span style="color: black;">The Borowitz Report</span></a>)—Amid the debate over reopening the nation’s schools, a new poll shows that an overwhelming majority of Americans would like Donald J. Trump to go back to school in the fall.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; box-sizing: border-box; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Due to social-distancing requirements, those surveyed agreed that there should be limits on class size when Trump returns to school, but that his class should be large enough to accommodate other education-starved students such as Jared Kushner, Rand Paul, and Betsy DeVos.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; box-sizing: border-box; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Although Americans acknowledge that the logistics of sending Trump back to school could be complicated and expensive, the cost of his continuing lack of education is far greater, the poll indicates.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Americans were split on which school subjects they would like to see Trump focus on most when he returns to the classroom.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; box-sizing: border-box; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Science and math received the strongest support, but a substantial number of respondents also favored history, geography, and English.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; box-sizing: border-box; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Finally, if Trump is ordered back to school in the fall, a vast majority of respondents urged that steps be taken to insure that he does not send someone else in his place.</span></p></div><div>———————————————-<br><br><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.TomandRodna.com/MoscowCares</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><b>“I Want to Take Back My Government”</b></div><div><a href="http://www.tomandrodna.com/MoscowCares/Songs/I_Want_to_Take_Back_My_Government.mp3">http://www.tomandrodna.com/MoscowCares/Songs/I_Want_to_Take_Back_My_Government.mp3</a></div></div></div></div></body></html>