<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div dir="ltr"><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8">Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker</i> at:<div><br></div><div><a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-defends-decision-to-sign-stimulus-checks-i-want-my-name-to-be-synonymous-with-the-coronavirus">https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-defends-decision-to-sign-stimulus-checks-i-want-my-name-to-be-synonymous-with-the-coronavirus</a></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————</div><div><h1 class="content-header__row content-header__hed" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 44.2px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; grid-column-start: 1; grid-column-end: span 8; line-height: 1.13em; font-family: IrvinHeadingWeb, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: 400; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Trump Defends Decision to Sign Stimulus Checks: “I Want My Name to Be Synonymous With the Coronavirus”</h1></div><div><br></div><div><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump vehemently defended his decision to have his name printed on millions of I.R.S. checks being issued to the American people, telling reporters on Wednesday, “I want my name to be synonymous with the coronavirus.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: medium; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Lashing out at critics of his decision, Trump said, “I have been working on this pandemic day in, day out, and I deserve total credit for it.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">He said that, by putting his name on the checks, “Whenever the American people hear about the coronavirus, the first thing they’ll think of is me.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Asked about Trump’s decision to sign the checks, Dr. Anthony Fauci said, “I don’t think it was really necessary, since most people already associate the coronavirus with him.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Former President Barack Obama said that he was “surprised” by Trump’s statement, remarking, “I had no idea that he knew what the word ‘synonymous’ meant.”</span><o:p></o:p></p></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————<br><br><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div></div></div></div></body></html>