<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div dir="ltr"><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8">Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker </i>at:<div><br></div><div><a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-accuses-buttigieg-of-suspicious-travel-to-afghanistan">https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-accuses-buttigieg-of-suspicious-travel-to-afghanistan</a></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————</div><div><h1 class="content-header__row content-header__hed" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 44.2px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; grid-column-start: 1; grid-column-end: span 8; line-height: 1.13em; font-family: IrvinHeadingWeb, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: 400; text-transform: uppercase; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">TRUMP ACCUSES BUTTIGIEG OF SUSPICIOUS TRAVEL TO AFGHANISTAN</h1></div><div><br></div><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In the aftermath of Pete Buttigieg’s strong showing in the Iowa caucuses, Donald J. Trump accused the former South Bend, Indiana, mayor of engaging in “suspicious travel” to Afghanistan.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">“People are saying that he went to Afghanistan for seven months in 2014,” Trump told the hosts of “Fox & Friends” in a phone call. “Seven months is a long time to be running around in a Muslim country full of terrorists, don’t you think?”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">He added that Buttigieg reportedly had a gun with him while he was in Afghanistan, a fact that Trump said “sounds fishy to me.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">“Let’s see, you fly all the way to a Muslim country full of all of these terrorists who need guns, and you’re bringing a gun into a country like that?” Trump said. “Who was he planning to give that gun to?”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">“I don’t know if he was part of some caliphate or just helping them out, but we ought to find out,” he said. “I have a call in to the President of Afghanistan.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Trump said that his suspicions about Buttigieg’s “totally unexplained travel to Afghanistan” spiked when he saw a photo of the former mayor “dressed up in some kind of weird camouflage suit.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">“You have to see this picture—he’s all dressed up in camo or whatever, like he’s ready for some kind of battle,” Trump said. “You’ll never find a picture of me dressed like that.”<o:p></o:p></span></p></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————<br><br><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><br></div></div></div></div></body></html>