<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto">Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker </i>at:<div><br></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><a href="https://tinyurl.com/Sharpiegate-2">https://tinyurl.com/Sharpiegate-2</a></span></div><div><br></div><div>——————————————-</div><div><span style="font-family: "Irvin Heading", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 44px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Panicky Trump Orders Dozen New Sharpies Before Releasing Ukraine Phone Transcript</span></div><div><br></div><div><div>NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—A reportedly panic-stricken Donald J. Trump ordered a dozen new Sharpies before releasing a transcript of his phone conversation with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky.</div><div><br></div><div>Trump was reportedly incensed after he discovered that aides had not replenished his supply of Sharpies after he used his last one diverting the path of Hurricane Dorian.</div><div><br></div><div>In New York for the United Nations General Assembly, Vice-President Mike Pence scoured stationery stores in midtown Manhattan to find the precious Sharpies, but came up empty.</div><div><br></div><div>While the quest for Sharpies continued, aides professed that the situation was “under control.”</div><div><br></div><div>“President Trump has actually done some of his best work with crayons,” one aide said.</div></div><div><br></div><div>——————————————-<br><br><div id="AppleMailSignature" dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">“You’re a Mean One, Mr. Trump”</span></div><div><a href="http://www.tomandrodna.com/MoscowCares/Songs/Donald_Trump/Youre_a_Mean_One_Mr_Trump.mp3" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.tomandrodna.com/MoscowCares/Songs/Donald_Trump/Youre_a_Mean_One_Mr_Trump.mp3</font></a></div></div><div><br></div></div></div></body></html>