<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto">Courtesy of <i>The DuffelBlog</i> at:<div><br></div><div><a href="https://www.duffelblog.com/2019/09/kabul-relieves-traffic-congestion-by-creating-car-bomb-lane/?utm_source=Normal+Subscribers&utm_campaign=c0c093e450-Duffel_Blog_Daily&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_6d392bc034-c0c093e450-23783321&goal=0_6d392bc034-c0c093e450-23783321&mc_cid=c0c093e450&mc_eid=48e6937308">https://www.duffelblog.com/2019/09/kabul-relieves-traffic-congestion-by-creating-car-bomb-lane/?utm_source=Normal+Subscribers&utm_campaign=c0c093e450-Duffel_Blog_Daily&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_6d392bc034-c0c093e450-23783321&goal=0_6d392bc034-c0c093e450-23783321&mc_cid=c0c093e450&mc_eid=48e6937308</a><br><div><br></div><div>———————————————</div><div><br></div><div><h1 class="mvp-post-title left entry-title" itemprop="headline" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-size: 3.5rem; vertical-align: baseline; -webkit-backface-visibility: hidden; font-family: Anton, sans-serif; font-weight: 400; line-height: 1.1; width: 633.03125px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Kabul Relieves Traffic Congestion By Creating Car Bomb Lane</h1></div><div><br></div><div><div>KABUL, Afghanistan — Residents of Kabul are enjoying shorter commute times on the Kandahar–Kabul Highway thanks to the recent completion of a designated car bomb toll lane, sources report.</div><div><br></div><div>“For over 18 years motorists had to endure expressways choked with vehicle-borne improvised explosive devices (VBIEDs), resulting in driver frustration, spilled coffee, and premature detonations due to excessive delays,” said Minster of Transportation and Civil Aviation Muhammad Hamid Tahmasi.</div><div><br></div><div>“Now,” continued Tahamsi, “with the patent-pending FastBlast® app, drivers can prepay their tolls and rest assured that they will reach their destination on-time and on-target.”</div><div><br></div><div>In addition to helping jihadists deliver their payloads in record time, the $2 billion project funded by the US Army Corps of Engineers is a surprising new stream of revenue for both the Afghan government and local businesses in the postwar draw down.</div><div><br></div><div>“We are definitely seeing a lot of new foreign investment in the fertilizer and ball bearing industries,” said Minister of Commerce and Industries Anwar ul-Haq Ahady. “Plus, we are providing generous electric car bomb incentives to help aspiring domestic terrorists ‘go green.'”</div><div><br></div><div>“Not to mention jobs in the local funeral industry are skyrocketing,” added Ahady. “Certainly a great time to not be alive!”</div><div><br></div><div>US officials applauded Afghanistan’s growing economy and voiced their commitment to its continued success by tentatively pledging billions of dollars to various local rebel factions for decades to come.</div></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————<br><br><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><br></div></div></div></div></body></html>