<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto">Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker </i>at:<div><br></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><a href="https://tinyurl.com/Boris-Johnsons-Dog-Resigns">https://tinyurl.com/Boris-Johnsons-Dog-Resigns</a></span></div><div><br></div><div>——————————————-</div><div><span style="font-family: "Irvin Heading", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 44px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">In Latest Humiliation, Boris Johnson’s Dog Resigns As His Pet</span></div><div><br></div><div><div>LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—In the latest in a string of humiliating blows to the British Prime Minister, Boris Johnson’s dog has abruptly resigned as his pet.</div><div><br></div><div>The dog, whom Johnson named Lord Slobberly, made the announcement in an official statement on Thursday morning.</div><div><br></div><div>“After wrestling with my conscience for some time, I have concluded that any further association with Mr. Johnson would be damaging to my reputation,” the dog said.</div><div><br></div><div>The sudden defection of Johnson’s dog sent shockwaves through his cabinet, with many ministers fearing that Lord Slobberly could be just the first of his pets to jump ship.</div><div><br></div><div>Specifically, parliamentary sources report that Johnson’s cat, Lady Paws-Whiskerly, is rumored to be in conversations with the Liberal Democrats.</div></div><div><br></div><div>——————————————-<br><br><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div></div></body></html>