<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto">Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker </i>at:<div><br></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><a href="https://tinyurl.com/Bad-Times-at-Maralago">https://tinyurl.com/Bad-Times-at-Maralago</a></span><br><div><br></div><div>———————————————</div><div><span style="font-family: "Irvin Heading", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 44px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Trump Furious That Mar-a-Lago Is Left with No Employees After ICE Raid</span></div><div><br></div><div><div>PALM BEACH, Florida (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump was reportedly “hopping mad” on Saturday after a surprise ice raid left his Mar-a-Lago retreat with no employees.</div><div><br></div><div>The ice agents conducting the pre-dawn raid swept through the opulent Palm Beach club and left guests with no one to prepare their food, wash their dishes, or clean their rooms.</div><div><br></div><div>When informed of the news, a furious Trump reportedly barked at his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, and his sons Eric and Donald, Jr., ordering them to hurry to Palm Beach and wait on tables.</div><div><br></div><div>A spokesman for Mar-a-Lago called the situation “dire,” warning that the resort had lost almost as many staff members as the White House.</div></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————<br><br><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">“You’re a Mean One, Mr. Trump”</span></div><div><a href="http://www.tomandrodna.com/MoscowCares/Songs/Donald_Trump/Youre_a_Mean_One_Mr_Trump.mp3">http://www.tomandrodna.com/MoscowCares/Songs/Donald_Trump/Youre_a_Mean_One_Mr_Trump.mp3</a></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div></div></div></body></html>