<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto">Courtesy of <i>The Onion</i> at:<div><br></div><div><a href="https://politics.theonion.com/outraged-trump-declares-he-would-ve-gotten-jeffrey-epst-1836249015/amp?__twitter_impression=true">https://politics.theonion.com/outraged-trump-declares-he-would-ve-gotten-jeffrey-epst-1836249015/amp?__twitter_impression=true</a><br><div><br></div><div>———————————————</div><div><br></div><div><h1 class="headline" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; font-family: ElizabethSerif, Georgia, serif; line-height: 1.3; font-size: 2.375rem; word-break: break-word; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><a href="https://politics.theonion.com/outraged-trump-declares-he-would-ve-gotten-jeffrey-epst-1836249015" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); text-decoration: none; box-sizing: border-box;">Outraged Trump Declares He Would’ve Gotten Jeffrey Epstein Way More Lenient Plea Deal</a></h1></div><div><br></div><div>WASHINGTON—As he lambasted the plea bargain that put Jeffrey Epstein behind bars for 13 months while allowing him to leave prison six days a week, a visibly angered President Trump declared Wednesday that if he been in charge, the alleged sex trafficker would have received a far lighter sentence. “This was absolutely the worst deal in all of legal history, and I’m disgusted by the way it played out,” said the 45th president of the United States, adding that back in 2008, he could easily have negotiated an arrangement that would have kept Epstein out of a white-collar jail in Palm Beach, FL and “on his private jet, where he belongs.” “If they had let me handle that case, Jeffrey would have been a completely free man, and he never would have had to register as a sex offender, which was just totally ridiculous. It’s sickening what those incompetent lawyers did. It sends a terrible message.” At press time, Trump had given a televised address from the Oval Office during which he issued a full presidential pardon to Epstein and anyone who may have conspired with him in the sex trafficking of minors.</div><div><br></div><div>———————————————<br><br><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">“You’re a Mean One, Mr. Trump”</span></div><div><a href="http://www.tomandrodna.com/MoscowCares/Songs/Donald_Trump/Youre_a_Mean_One_Mr_Trump.mp3">http://www.tomandrodna.com/MoscowCares/Songs/Donald_Trump/Youre_a_Mean_One_Mr_Trump.mp3</a></div><div> </div></div></div></div></body></html>