<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto">Courtesy of the New Yorker at:<div><br></div><div><a href="https://tinyurl.com/Kellyannes-New-Job" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">https://tinyurl.com/Kellyannes-New-Job</a><br><div><br></div><div>———————————————</div><div><span style="font-family: "Irvin Heading", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 44px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Kellyanne Conway to Leave White House Immediately and Begin New Job at Kremlin</span></div><div><br></div><div><div>WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The embattled Presidential adviser Kellyanne Conway will leave her post at the White House, effective immediately, and begin a new job at the Kremlin on Friday, the White House and the Kremlin have confirmed.</div><div><br></div><div>Conway, who has served as a counsellor to President Donald Trump, will serve as a counsellor to President Vladimir Putin.</div><div><br></div><div>The White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, announced the news in sombre fashion. “Everyone here is happy for Kellyanne, but our nation has lost a great liar,” she said.</div><div><br></div><div>Conway told reporters that she was excited to work in “a country that doesn’t have dumb old laws like the Hatch Act.”</div><div><br></div><div>“As a federal employee, there were so many restrictions on getting involved in American elections, but at the Kremlin that’ll be my main job,” she said.</div></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————<br><br><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">“You’re a Mean One, Mr. Trump”</span></div><div><a href="http://www.tomandrodna.com/MoscowCares/Songs/Donald_Trump/Youre_a_Mean_One_Mr_Trump.mp3">http://www.tomandrodna.com/MoscowCares/Songs/Donald_Trump/Youre_a_Mean_One_Mr_Trump.mp3</a></div><div> </div></div></div></div></body></html>