<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto">Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker</i> at:<div><br></div><div><a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-names-lori-loughlin-education-secretary">https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-names-lori-loughlin-education-secretary</a><br><div><br></div><div>———————————————</div><div><span style="font-family: "Irvin Heading", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 44px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Trump Names Lori Loughlin Education Secretary</span></div><div><br></div><div><div>WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The shakeup in the Trump Administration continued on Wednesday as Donald Trump named a fellow television personality, Lori Loughlin, to be the new Secretary of Education.</div><div><br></div><div>In making the announcement, Trump praised Loughlin for her “disruptive approach†to college admissions and expressed hope that she could bring the same brand of innovative thinking to the Department of Education.</div><div><br></div><div>He brushed aside reporters’ questions about the means by which Loughlin obtained college placements for her two daughters. “No one here has a problem with that,†he said. “I know Jared doesn’t.â€</div><div><br></div><div>The outgoing Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos, said that she was grateful to have served in the Cabinet and that she would continue to work toward eviscerating American schools as a private citizen.</div></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————<br><br><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div></div></div></div><div dir="ltr"><div><br></div><div><br></div></div></body></html>