<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto">Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker</i> at:<div><br></div><div><a href="https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-names-lori-loughlin-education-secretary">https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-names-lori-loughlin-education-secretary</a><br><div><br></div><div>———————————————</div><div><span style="font-family: "Irvin Heading", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 44px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Trump Names Lori Loughlin Education Secretary</span></div><div><br></div><div><div>WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The shakeup in the Trump Administration continued on Wednesday as Donald Trump named a fellow television personality, Lori Loughlin, to be the new Secretary of Education.</div><div><br></div><div>In making the announcement, Trump praised Loughlin for her “disruptive approach” to college admissions and expressed hope that she could bring the same brand of innovative thinking to the Department of Education.</div><div><br></div><div>He brushed aside reporters’ questions about the means by which Loughlin obtained college placements for her two daughters. “No one here has a problem with that,” he said. “I know Jared doesn’t.”</div><div><br></div><div>The outgoing Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos, said that she was grateful to have served in the Cabinet and that she would continue to work toward eviscerating American schools as a private citizen.</div></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————<br><br><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div></div></div></div><div dir="ltr"><div><br></div><div><br></div></div></body></html>