<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><div><b>“The Ballad Of Rum” </b>by Peter R Wolveridge</div><div><br></div><div>A dog wandered into our garden one day,</div><div>A friendly old mutt, didn't look like a stray.</div><div>We never discovered whence he had come,</div><div>But we brushed him and fed him and the kids called him Rum.</div><div><br></div><div>Now as family members, even dogs must work hard,</div><div>So we put Rum on duty next door in our yard,</div><div>Bright eyed and watchful by night and by day,</div><div>But not much of a guard dog, I'm sorry to say.</div><div><br></div><div>He barked at the cats and he'd bark at a toad,</div><div>He barked at the cattle outside on the road,</div><div>He barked at the horses - so where did he fail?</div><div>You see, Rum liked people, and he just wagged his tail.</div><div><br></div><div>He liked the yard labour, an amiable bunch.</div><div>They fed our dog tidbits and scraps from their lunch.</div><div>Rum wolfed it all down, but to our dismay</div><div>He seemed to get fatter with each passing day.</div><div><br></div><div>Then one night when Rum was laid at his ease,</div><div>A burglar crept in just as quiet as you please.</div><div>He saw no alarms, heard no siren howling,</div><div>No guard dog for sure, there'd be barking and growling.</div><div><br></div><div>But Rum was awake and he'd seen him alright,</div><div>Delighted with company this time of the night,</div><div>He flew through the yard, his new friend to greet,</div><div>And his weight bowled the burglar right off of his feet.</div><div><br></div><div>The intruder got up and ran off with a wail</div><div>And Rum right behind him still wagging his tail.</div><div>He departed the yard he'd come in to burgle</div><div>Like a champion athlete clearing a hurdle.</div><div><br></div><div>But Rum couldn't jump gates, so sadly instead</div><div>He picked up the thief's wallet and went back to bed.</div><div>Next morning the evidence everyone viewed,</div><div>When Rum brought it to us, (just a little bit chewed).</div><div><br></div><div>Once given the wallet, the police didn't fail</div><div>To capture the burglar and put him in jail.</div><div>His confession like wildfire spread through the town,</div><div>How a big vicious guard dog had knocked the thief down.</div><div><br></div><div>We all howled with laughter when we heard the story,</div><div>And Rum was our hero, he was basking in glory.</div><div>There's been no attempts since to burgle our yard,</div><div>For everyone knows now that Rum is on guard.</div></div><div><br></div>———————————————<br><br><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></body></html>