<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div dir="ltr"><span></span></div><div dir="ltr">Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker </i>at:</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr"><a href="https://tinyurl.com/Trumps-SATs-Revealed" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">https://tinyurl.com/Trumps-SATs-Revealed</a><br><div><br></div><div>——————————————-</div><div><span style="font-family: "Irvin Heading", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 44px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Mueller Says He Has Obtained Trump’s SAT Scores</span></div><div><br></div><div><div>WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The special counsel’s office has obtained Donald J. Trump’s long-suppressed SAT scores, Robert Mueller confirmed on Thursday.</div><div><br></div><div>After the SAT results were retrieved, a forensics lab examined the microscopic scores and positively identified them as Trump’s, the special counsel explained.</div><div><br></div><div>Mueller said that he did not seek Trump’s SAT scores because he thought that they would not have any bearing on his investigation of Russian meddling in the 2016 election. “My team has been putting in long hours and working very, very hard,” he said. “I just thought they deserved a good laugh.”</div><div><br></div><div>Although he refused to divulge Trump’s exact SAT scores, Mueller hinted that they did reflect well on Trump in one respect. “From these SATs, it’s evident that he did not cheat off anyone else’s paper,” he said.</div></div><div><br></div><div>——————————————-<br><br><div id="AppleMailSignature" dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><br></div></div></div></div></body></html>