<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><div><b>“The Thing!”</b> by Brian A. Bendall</div><div><br></div><div>I once set out to make a fiend,</div><div>A gruesome thing that no one's seen.</div><div>A massive gore of teeth and claws</div><div>With sixteen eyes and monster paws.</div><div><br></div><div>Before I started out to cook,</div><div>I checked out first my Potions Book.</div><div>With some touches of my own,</div><div>I knew I'd hear my monster moan.</div><div><br></div><div>I finally found the perfect pot,</div><div>Huge and black and rusted not,</div><div>To place it on a fire bright</div><div>And waited for the dark of night.</div><div><br></div><div>The darkness came, none too soon,</div><div>And in the shining of the moon,</div><div>I began my task with hopes to fix</div><div>The makings for my monster mix.</div><div><br></div><div>I filled the pot half-full with grease,</div><div>And so began my monster-piece.</div><div>I added pints of castor oil</div><div>And waited for my mix to boil.</div><div><br></div><div>I put in five potato eyes,</div><div>A chicken's tooth and watched it rise.</div><div>A lock of hair, a roach, a worm!</div><div>I stirred it so it would not burn!</div><div><br></div><div>Beetle guts, hornet's feet,</div><div>Finger nails, rancid meat,</div><div>A turtle's toes, a garter snake!</div><div>So far, this was a piece of cake!</div><div><br></div><div>Then I put in weasel liver,</div><div>A centipede, a caterpillar,</div><div>Seven hairs from top a fly,</div><div>A horse's tongue, a lizard's eye!</div><div><br></div><div>Oxen hooves and turkey neck,</div><div>A gremlin's ear (just a speck),</div><div>Maggot slime, a walrus knuckle.</div><div>It smelled so good, I had to chuckle!</div><div><br></div><div>I listened to it curl and tip.</div><div>I took a spoon and had a sip!</div><div>And as I heard it bump and crunch,</div><div>I settled back to have my lunch.</div><div><br></div><div>I put the lid on good and tight.</div><div>I let it simmer all that night.</div><div>And all that day I let it brew.</div><div>All next night and the next day, too.</div><div><br></div><div>Then, that night, the moment came</div><div>To see if I had worked in vain.</div><div>I pried the lid with tender care,</div><div>Wondering what I'd find in there.</div><div><br></div><div>I held my breath, peeked inside.</div><div>I saw it...and I burst with pride!</div><div>I threw the lid aside, at last,</div><div>And danced around the pot of gas!</div><div><br></div><div>And through the gas the creature rose,</div><div>With sixteen eyes, a big black nose,</div><div>Fangs, hair and ten inch claws,</div><div>Warts, lice and monster paws!</div><div><br></div><div>It groaned! It gasped! It grunted, too!</div><div>Just why it lived, I wish I knew!</div><div>"It must be luck! A chance! A fluke!"</div><div>I chose a name and called it, "Duke"!</div><div><br></div><div>"Here, Duke!" I called, with outstretched hand.</div><div>Did it really understand?</div><div>It did! It did! For Duke complied!</div><div>It looked so good, I almost cried!</div><div><br></div><div>With happy eyes I watched it slip,</div><div>Squirm, slide, slither and dip.</div><div>Slow, at first, then like a shot,</div><div>Duke turned around....and ate the pot!</div><div><br></div><div>It ate the table and the chair,</div><div>And my book a laying there!</div><div>Then it ate my frying pans,</div><div>My overcoat and garbage cans.</div><div><br></div><div>My couch, my lamps, my stove, my suit!</div><div>I have to say, it did look cute.</div><div>But was this the monster in my mind?</div><div>Did I create a Frankenstein?!</div><div><br></div><div>My telephone and TV set,</div><div>But Duke? It wasn't finished yet!</div><div>My shower, toilet, tub and sink!</div><div>My sanity was at the brink!</div><div><br></div><div>Then Duke stopped, to my surprise,</div><div>And looked at me with thankful eyes.</div><div>I never dreamed it'd be so wild!</div><div>Duke cocked its head....and then it smiled.</div><div><br></div><div>Today, it's eaten all I own!</div><div>I barely even have a home!</div><div>So, I'm worried by one thing, you see,</div><div>It's that one day ... Duke ... might ... eat...</div><div>..."AARRGGHH!"</div></div><div><br></div>——————————————-<br><br><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><br></div></div></body></html>