<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div dir="ltr"><span></span></div><div dir="ltr"><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8">Courtesy of the New Yorker at:</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr"><a href="https://tinyurl.com/This-Could-Decide-the-Midterms" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">https://tinyurl.com/This-Could-Decide-the-Midterms</a><br><div><br></div><div>———————————————</div><div><br></div><div><div><h1 class="ArticleHeader__hed___GPB7e" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 44px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; -webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; text-rendering: geometricPrecision; font-family: "Irvin Heading", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: 400; line-height: 1.09; min-height: 1px; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 20px; position: relative; flex: 0 0 83.33332824707031%; max-width: 83.33332824707031%; width: 853.328125px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Americans Would Feel Safer If a Huge Caravan of Angry White Men Left the Country</h1></div><div><br></div><div>MINNESOTA (The Borowitz Report)—A vast majority of Americans would feel significantly safer if an enormous caravan consisting of angry white men left the country, a new poll indicates.</div><div><br></div><div>The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, suggests that the concept of an angry-white-male caravan could be the most wildly popular policy proposal in the run-up to Tuesday’s midterm elections.</div><div><br></div><div>In an indication of just how much support the proposal has, many Americans said that they would personally contribute gas money to help get the caravan on its way.</div><div><br></div><div>Despite the popularity of the caravan, however, there was disagreement over what the optimal number of angry white men to depart with it would be, with some suggesting a figure of twenty thousand and others preferring a number as high as forty million.</div><div><br></div><div>Additionally, the implementation of such a caravan could face major obstacles; the survey indicates that both Mexican and Canadian voters overwhelmingly oppose any influx whatsoever of angry white American males.</div></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————<br><br><div id="AppleMailSignature" dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><br></div></div></div></div></body></html>