<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto">Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker </i>at:<div><br></div><div><a href="https://tinyurl.com/Trump-DNA-Test" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">https://tinyurl.com/Trump-DNA-Test</a><br><div><br></div><div>———————————————</div><div><span style="font-family: "Irvin Heading", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 44px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">DNA Test Reveals Donald Trump, Jr., Is Fifty Per Cent Idiot</span></div><div><div><br></div><div>NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump, Jr., has taken a DNA test that reveals that he is “fifty-per-cent idiot,” Trump confirmed on Tuesday.</div><div><br></div><div>Speaking to reporters at a press conference in Trump Tower, Trump said that he had undergone the DNA testing “to silence all of the haters who have been saying I’m a total idiot.”</div><div><br></div><div>Crowing about the test results, Trump said, “According to this test, I am fifty-per-cent idiot, which is way less than half.”</div><div><br></div><div>Trump’s results drew a skeptical response from the scientific community, with many leading geneticists questioning the integrity of his DNA sample.</div><div><br></div><div>According to Davis Logsdon, a genetic scientist at the University of Minnesota, “Any test of Don, Jr., that comes back lower than ninety-per-cent idiot is going to set off alarm bells, scientifically speaking.”</div><div><br></div><div>Trump, Jr., first boasted about his test results on Twitter, where he misspelled “DNA.”</div></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————<br><div><br><div dir="ltr"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></div></div></body></html>