<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><div><b>"Mrs. Stein"</b> by Bill Dodds</div><div><br></div><div>The school bell rings, we go inside,</div><div>Our teacher isn’t there.</div><div>“Maybe she’s sick!” her pet cries out.</div><div>Yeah, right. As if I’d care.</div><div><br></div><div>I have a D in Language Arts,</div><div>My grade in math’s the same.</div><div>And now my teacher might be sick.</div><div>Could be I’m part to blame.</div><div><br></div><div>She doesn’t like me, that’s a fact,</div><div>I wouldn’t tell a lie.</div><div>She says stuff like: “You’re very smart,</div><div>But you don’t even try.”</div><div><br></div><div>I start to laugh—my teacher’s sick!</div><div>And boy, I’m feeling fine . . .</div><div>When someone knocks the door right in,</div><div>And there stands Frankenstein.</div><div><br></div><div>She’s six-foot-eight, her dress is black,</div><div>She’s wearing combat boots.</div><div>I start to gasp, she growls and says,</div><div>“I’ll be your substitute.”</div><div><br></div><div>The teacher’s pet is whimpering;</div><div>She doesn’t stand a chance.</div><div>The smart kid stares and points and faints.</div><div>The bully wets his pants.</div><div><br></div><div>“My name is Mrs. Stein,” she says,</div><div>And every student cringes.</div><div>She leans the door against the wall,</div><div>She’s knocked it off its hinges.</div><div><br></div><div>“Now let’s begin. You there! Stand up!”</div><div>She looks me in the eye.</div><div>I try to move, my legs won’t work.</div><div>I know I’m going to die!</div><div><br></div><div>In one big step she’s next to me,</div><div>And she does more than hover.</div><div>She blocks the sun, it’s dark as night,</div><div>My classmates run for cover.</div><div><br></div><div>“Now get up to the board,” she says.</div><div>“I’d like to see some action.</div><div>Pick up the chalk, explain to us</div><div>Division of a fraction.”</div><div><br></div><div>I leap away to save my life,</div><div>This time I really try.</div><div>I think and think and think and croak,</div><div>“Invert and multiply.”</div><div><br></div><div>“Correct! She says. I breathe again</div><div>And head back for my chair.</div><div>“You, FREEZE!” she shouts, and I stop cold.</div><div>“And don’t go anywhere.”</div><div><br></div><div>This all begins at nine o’clock,</div><div>I fight to stay alive.</div><div>It seems to last a million years—</div><div>The clock says nine-o-five.</div><div><br></div><div>That’s just three hundred seconds,</div><div>And then my turn is through.</div><div>She points at every one of us—</div><div>“Now you. Now, you. Now, you.”</div><div><br></div><div>We all get nailed this awful day,</div><div>There’s nowhere we can hide.</div><div>The lunch bell rings, we cannot eat,</div><div>We simply crawl outside.</div><div><br></div><div>We can’t believe the other kids</div><div>Who run and play their games.</div><div>Not us, who have big Mrs. Stein—</div><div>Our world is not the same.</div><div><br></div><div>The bell has tolled, I must go in,</div><div>My time on earth is through.</div><div>I’ll leave this on the playground—</div><div>Here’s what you have to do.</div><div><br></div><div>You must listen to your teacher</div><div>And pray her health is fine,</div><div>Or one day soon you’ll hear the words:</div><div>“My name is Mrs. Stein.”</div></div><div><br></div>———————————————<br><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></body></html>