<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto">Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker</i> at:<div><br></div><div><a href="https://tinyurl.com/Ohio-Special-Election-Shocker" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">https://tinyurl.com/Ohio-Special-Election-Shocker</a><br><div><br></div><div>———————————————</div><div><span style="font-family: "Irvin Heading", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 44px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Republicans Outspent Democrats in Ohio by a Hundred Million Rubles</span></div><div><div><br></div><div>COLUMBUS, Ohio (The Borowitz Report)—With Tuesday’s special election in Ohio still too close to call, Republican officials in the state acknowledged that they outspent Democrats to the tune of a hundred million rubles.</div><div><br></div><div>Harland Dorrinson, a spokesman for the Ohio Republican Party, told reporters on Wednesday that if the G.O.P. ekes out a win, it will have been worth all of the Russian currency the Party threw at the race.</div><div><br></div><div>“You can talk ground game all you want, but, at the end of the day, you can’t buy TV and radio ads without rubles,” he said.</div><div><br></div><div>Dorrinson credited the Republican congressional-campaign committee for what he called a “highly successful ruble-raising effort.”</div><div><br></div><div>“We were on the phone to oligarchs in our shadowy Kremlin-affiliated donor network up to the last minute,” he said. “Hopefully, it paid off.”</div><div><br></div><div>While Ohio Republicans are crossing their fingers that the final election results are in their favor, Dorrinson recognizes that their work is far from over. “We’re going to have a rematch in this district in November, and we don’t want to be caught a day late and a ruble short,” he said.</div></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————<br><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></div></body></html>