<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><span></span></div><div><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><div><span></span></div><div>Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker</i> at:</div><div><br></div><div><a href="https://tinyurl.com/Trumps-Exit-Strategy" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">https://tinyurl.com/Trumps-Exit-Strategy</a><br><div><br></div><div>———————————————</div><div><div><h1 class="ArticleHeader__hed___GPB7e" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 44px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; -webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; text-rendering: geometricPrecision; font-family: "Irvin Heading", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: 400; line-height: 1.09; min-height: 1px; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 20px; position: relative; flex: 0 0 83.33332824707031%; max-width: 83.33332824707031%; width: 853.328125px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Trump Family Flees to Moscow</h1></div><div><br></div><div>WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Bringing a tumultuous chapter of American history to an abrupt conclusion, Donald J. Trump and three of his adult children fled to Moscow in the early hours of Friday morning.</div><div><br></div><div>Accompanied by Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., Trump boarded a specially chartered Aeroflot plane to take him to his new home in Moscow, a nondescript apartment building that also houses the former N.S.A. employee Edward Snowden.</div><div><br></div><div>Trump reportedly was in a tremendous hurry to catch the plane and left behind only a one-sentence note, reading, “THERE WAS NO COLUSION [sic].”</div><div><br></div><div>At the White House, Sarah Huckabee Sanders confirmed that the Trump family had fled to Moscow, telling reporters, “The Trump family has not fled to Moscow.”</div><div><br></div><div>The arrangements for the Trumps’ exit were finalized last week in the one-on-one conversation between Trump and Vladimir Putin, in Helsinki, a translator who was present during the conversation has confirmed.</div><div><br></div><div>According to the translator, Trump told Putin, “We’ll move to Moscow as soon as Ivanka winds down her crappy company.”</div><div><br></div><div>Those who witnessed Trump’s departure indicated that his wife, Melania, did not board the Aeroflot plane with him, but saw him off at the airport with a cordial “Be best.”</div></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————<br><br><div id="AppleMailSignature"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></div></div></body></html>