<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto">Courtesy of the <i>DuffelBlog</i> at:<div><br></div><div><a href="https://www.duffelblog.com/2018/04/john-bolton-wakes-terrifying-nightmare-world-peace/?utm_source=DB+Newsletter&utm_campaign=b8fa07ba62-Duffel_Blog_Daily&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_6d392bc034-b8fa07ba62-23783321&goal=0_6d392bc034-b8fa07ba62-23783321&mc_cid=b8fa07ba62&mc_eid=48e6937308">https://www.duffelblog.com/2018/04/john-bolton-wakes-terrifying-nightmare-world-peace/?utm_source=DB+Newsletter&utm_campaign=b8fa07ba62-Duffel_Blog_Daily&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_6d392bc034-b8fa07ba62-23783321&goal=0_6d392bc034-b8fa07ba62-23783321&mc_cid=b8fa07ba62&mc_eid=48e6937308</a><br><div><br></div><div>———————————————</div><div><div><h1 class="admania_entrytitle" itemprop="headline" style="box-sizing: border-box; border: 0px; font-family: "Playfair Display"; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 47px; font-size: 38px; font-weight: normal; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 18px; vertical-align: baseline; transition: all 0.1s ease-in-out; -webkit-font-smoothing: subpixel-antialiased; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">John Bolton wakes from terrifying nightmare of world at peace</h1></div><div>BETHESDA, Md. — After lurching awake in a sweating, panicky daze, new White House National Security Advisor John Bolton was reportedly relieved that the image of a harmonious world at peace was only a terrifying nightmare, sources confirmed today.</div><div><br></div><div>“GAA! Oh my God, I just saw people living without the anxiety of total war and Kim Jong Un being a decent human being. It was fucking petrifying,” said Bolton, frantically checking his phone to make sure every news source was still concerned with his neoconservative foreign-policy ideas and pushes for military interventions in Iraq, Syria, Iran, North Korea, Mexico, Venezuela, Aruba, and other countries.</div><div><br></div><div>“I was so worried that I’d be out of a job and have to just play endless games of Command & Conquer on my laptop,” Bolton later told reporters. “But once I wiped the sweat from my mustache and realized it was just a fictitious yet disturbing vision of peaceful foreign relations, I was able to catch my breath and began having sweet dreams of bombing totalitarian regimes and committing human rights violations.”</div><div><br></div><div>Bolton seemingly then proceeded to go back to sleep, consoled by the wet dream of an intense war with Iran and North Korea at the same time, sources said.</div><div><br></div><div>“I swear to God that nightmare was worse than the one I had of my mustache crawling off my face, turning into a cocoon, and becoming a beautiful colorful butterfly.”</div></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————<br><div><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><br></div></div></div></div></div></body></html>