<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto">Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker </i>at:<div><br></div><div><a href="https://tinyurl.com/Sinclair-Has-Gone-Too-Far" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">https://tinyurl.com/Sinclair-Has-Gone-Too-Far</a><br><div><br></div><div>——————————————-</div><div><span style="font-family: "Irvin Heading", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 44px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Sinclair TV Anchor Suddenly Begins Reading News in Russian</span></div><div><div><br></div><div>AKRON, OHIO (The Borowitz Report)—Viewers of the Sinclair station in Akron were startled on Monday when a longtime news anchor, Carol Foyler, inexplicably began reading the evening news report in Russian.</div><div><br></div><div>Foyler, who is not of Russian heritage, greeted her audience with a hearty “Zdravstvuyte,” and then read the evening’s top stories entirely in her newly adopted language.</div><div><br></div><div>After racing through the local coverage, Foyler abruptly segued to footage of the Russian President, Vladimir Putin, admiring the launch of his nation’s highly touted new Satan-2 missile.</div><div><br></div><div>Viewers flooded the station with complaints, with many expressing alarm that, in the words of one audience member, “something was up with Carol.”</div><div><br></div><div>“Maybe she’s taking Russian classes in her spare time, or something like that,” Harland Dorrinson, a loyal viewer of the Sinclair station, said. “Still, it made it really hard to understand the weather.”</div><div><br></div><div>Responding to the outpouring of concern about her, Foyler later issued the following English-language statement: “I am being treated well here. My loved ones need not worry.”</div></div><div><br></div><div>——————————————-<br><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></div></body></html>