<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto">Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker</i> at:<div><br></div><div><a href="https://tinyurl.com/Putin-Suffers-a-Setback" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">https://tinyurl.com/Putin-Suffers-a-Setback</a><br><div><br></div><div>——————————————-</div><div><span style="font-family: "Irvin Heading", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 44px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Vladimir Putin Concedes Defeat in Pennsylvania Special Election</span></div><div><div><br></div><div>MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—Calling the result “close but no cigar,” Vladimir Putin has conceded defeat in Tuesday night’s special congressional election in Pennsylvania.</div><div><br></div><div>Speaking to reporters at the Kremlin, Putin thanked the many Russian campaign workers who tried but failed to propel the Republican candidate, Rick Saccone, into the winner’s circle.</div><div><br></div><div>“Our social-media trolls did some of their finest work to put Rick over the top, but, in the final analysis, we were a day late and a ruble short,” the Russian President said.</div><div><br></div><div>Putin had high praise for the Democratic candidate, Conor Lamb, who, he said, “managed to win in a district that I easily delivered to Donald Trump in 2016.”</div><div><br></div><div>But he belittled the attempts of Republican officials like the House Speaker, Paul Ryan, to sugarcoat the Pennsylvania defeat.</div><div><br></div><div>“Last night should be a wake-up call for Republicans everywhere,” Putin warned. “The midterms are less than eight months away. Let’s get to work.”</div></div><div><br></div><div>——————————————-<br><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><br></div></div></div></div></body></html>