<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto">Courtesy of the New Yorker at:<div><br></div><div><a href="http://tinyurl.com/Virginia-and-New-Jersey-Govs" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://tinyurl.com/Virginia-and-New-Jersey-Govs</a><br><div><br></div><div>— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — </div><div><span style="font-family: "Irvin Heading", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 44px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Virginia and New Jersey Elect Governors Totally Lacking Reality-Show Experience</span></div><div><div><br></div><div>VIRGINIA AND NEW JERSEY (The Borowitz Report)—Throwing caution to the wind, voters in Virginia and New Jersey on Tuesday night overturned the political applecart and chose as their new governors two men with no reality-show experience whatsoever.</div><div><br></div><div>Republican officials were staggered by the voters’ decision because, historically, reality shows have been a reliable proving ground for the nation’s finest leaders.</div><div><br></div><div>Ronna Romney McDaniel, the chairwoman of the Republican National Committee, said that the voters’ risky bet on two men who had never set foot on a reality-show stage showed that the electorate was acting “emotionally and not rationally.”</div><div><br></div><div>“You look at the résumés of these two men and you won’t find ‘Survivor,’ you won’t find ‘Big Brother,’ you won’t find ‘The Bachelor,’ ” she said. “What we have are two individuals who are, to put it mildly, unfit for office.”</div><div>“This is not normal,” she said.</div><div><br></div><div>Andy Borowitz’ video “The End Of Trump”</div><div><a href="https://youtu.be/Mqi0n-c8L78">https://youtu.be/Mqi0n-c8L78</a></div><div><br></div><div>She gave both winning candidates credit for tapping into the angry voters’ anti-reality-show mood, but she warned, “Once these two have been in office, I think voters will start longing for someone who had at least won an immunity idol or swallowed a live caterpillar.”</div></div><div><br></div><div>— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —<br><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></div></body></html>