<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><span></span></div><div><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><div><span></span></div><div>Courtesy of the New Yorker at:</div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://tinyurl.com/Trump-Loses-in-IQ-Test" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://tinyurl.com/Trump-Loses-in-IQ-Test</a><br><div><br></div><div>———————————————-</div><div><span style="font-family: "Irvin Heading", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 44px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Trump Knocked Out in First Round of White House I.Q.-Test Tournament After Losing to Betsy DeVos</span></div><div><div><br></div><div>WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an I.Q.-test tournament devised by Donald Trump to determine the smartest person in his Administration, Trump suffered a humiliating defeat on Tuesday, getting knocked out in the first round by Education Secretary Betsy DeVos.</div><div><br></div><div>Trump had personally created the brackets for the tournament, which he had hoped would lead to an I.Q.-championship showdown between him and Secretary of State Rex Tillerson.</div><div><br></div><div>“He was determined to face Betsy in the first round,” a White House source said of Trump. “He thought it would be like a bye week.”</div><div><br></div><div>Trump was stung by DeVos’s upset win, however, and lashed out at the I.Q. test itself, calling it both “fake” and “rigged,” according to the source.</div><div><br></div><div>“It had been a while since he had taken an I.Q. test,” the source said. “He had forgotten there was a spelling section.”</div><div><br></div><div>Elsewhere in the I.Q. tournament, other members of the Trump family were knocked out in the first round as well, with Ivanka Trump falling to Vice-President Mike Pence; Donald Trump, Jr., losing to Trump’s press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders; and Jared Kushner reportedly suffering a lopsided defeat at the hands of Secretary of Energy Rick Perry.</div><div><br></div><div>Trump’s son Eric did not participate in the tournament. “That would have been cruel,” the source said.</div></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————-<br><br><div id="AppleMailSignature"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></div></div></body></html>