<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><span></span></div><div><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8">Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker</i> at:<div><br></div><div><a href="http://tinyurl.com/DeVos-Defends-Trump" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://tinyurl.com/DeVos-Defends-Trump</a><br><div><br></div><div>———————————————</div><div><span style="font-family: "Irvin Heading", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 44px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">DeVos Defends Trump: “Would a Moron Hire Me?”</span></div><div><div><br></div><div>WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos offered a spirited defense of her boss’s intelligence on Friday, bluntly asking reporters, “Would a moron hire me?”</div><div><br></div><div>“My intelligence can be very intimidating,” DeVos said. “And if Donald Trump was a moron, he would not want to be around people who are intelligenter than him.”</div><div><br></div><div>As evidence that Trump does not feel inferior around highly intelligent people, DeVos singled out other members of Trump’s Cabinet. "Leave me out of it for a second,” she said. “If Donald Trump was such a blithering idiot, why would he have hired Rick Perry?”</div><div><br></div><div>“Jared Kushner is also super smart,” she added. “He doesn’t even work on Saturdays because he’s a Jewish person and whatnot, but he doesn’t have to because of his huge brain and all. He’s so smart I have a nickname for him. I call him Smart Jared.”</div><div><br></div><div>Arguing that only a “very smart person would hire such very smart persons,” DeVos said, “Think about it. Rick Perry, Jared Kushner, and me. Wouldn’t Donald Trump have to be pretty smart to hire four people like that?”</div></div><div><br></div><div>———————————————<br><br><div id="AppleMailSignature"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></div></div></body></html>