<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><b>"Mrs. Stein"</b> by Bill Dodds</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><br></div><div id="AppleMailSignature">The school bell rings, we go inside,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">Our teacher isn’t there.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">“Maybe she’s sick!” her pet cries out.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">Yeah, right. As if I’d care.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"> </div><div id="AppleMailSignature">I have a D in Language Arts,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">My grade in math’s the same.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">And now my teacher might be sick.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">Could be I’m part to blame.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"> </div><div id="AppleMailSignature">She doesn’t like me, that’s a fact,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">I wouldn’t tell a lie.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">She says stuff like: “You’re very smart,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">But you don’t even try.”</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"> </div><div id="AppleMailSignature">I start to laugh—my teacher’s sick!</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">And boy, I’m feeling fine . . .</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">When someone knocks the door right in,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">And there stands Frankenstein.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"> </div><div id="AppleMailSignature">She’s six-foot-eight, her dress is black,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">She’s wearing combat boots.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">I start to gasp, she growls and says,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">“I’ll be your substitute.”</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"> </div><div id="AppleMailSignature">The teacher’s pet is whimpering;</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">She doesn’t stand a chance.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">The smart kid stares and points and faints.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">The bully wets his pants.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"> </div><div id="AppleMailSignature">“My name is Mrs. Stein,” she says,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">And every student cringes.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">She leans the door against the wall,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">She’s knocked it off its hinges.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"> </div><div id="AppleMailSignature">“Now let’s begin. You there! Stand up!”</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">She looks me in the eye.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">I try to move, my legs won’t work.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">I know I’m going to die!</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"> </div><div id="AppleMailSignature">In one big step she’s next to me,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">And she does more than hover.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">She blocks the sun, it’s dark as night,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">My classmates run for cover.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"> </div><div id="AppleMailSignature">“Now get up to the board,” she says.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">“I’d like to see some action.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">Pick up the chalk, explain to us</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">Division of a fraction.”</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"> </div><div id="AppleMailSignature">I leap away to save my life,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">This time I really try.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">I think and think and think and croak,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">“Invert and multiply.”</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"> </div><div id="AppleMailSignature">“Correct! She says. I breathe again</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">And head back for my chair.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">“You, FREEZE!” she shouts, and I stop cold.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">“And don’t go anywhere.”</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"> </div><div id="AppleMailSignature">This all begins at nine o’clock,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">I fight to stay alive.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">It seems to last a million years—</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">The clock says nine-o-five.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"> </div><div id="AppleMailSignature">That’s just three hundred seconds,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">And then my turn is through.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">She points at every one of us—</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">“Now you. Now, you. Now, you.”</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"> </div><div id="AppleMailSignature">We all get nailed this awful day,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">There’s nowhere we can hide.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">The lunch bell rings, we cannot eat,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">We simply crawl outside.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"> </div><div id="AppleMailSignature">We can’t believe the other kids</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">Who run and play their games.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">Not us, who have big Mrs. Stein—</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">Our world is not the same.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"> </div><div id="AppleMailSignature">The bell has tolled, I must go in,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">My time on earth is through.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">I’ll leave this on the playground—</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">Here’s what you have to do.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"> </div><div id="AppleMailSignature">You must listen to your teacher</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">And pray her health is fine,</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">Or one day soon you’ll hear the words:</div><div id="AppleMailSignature">“My name is Mrs. Stein.”</div></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><br></div><div id="AppleMailSignature">-------------------------<br><br><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></body></html>