<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><span></span></div><div><div>Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker</i> at:</div><div><br></div><div><b><a href="http://tinyurl.com/deVos-Googles-Civil-War" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://tinyurl.com/deVos-Googles-Civil-War</a></b></div><div><br></div><div>---------------------------------</div><div><span style="font-family: 'Irvin Heading', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 44px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Controversy over Confederate Statues Inspires Betsy DeVos to Google Civil War</span></div><div><div><br></div><div>WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The raging controversy over Confederate statues has impelled Betsy DeVos to Google the Civil War, the Education Secretary confirmed on Thursday.</div><div><br></div><div>“People have been going on and on about the Civil War, and I was like, Betsy, what the heck are they talking about, exactly?” DeVos told reporters. “After a certain point, I decided I just had to Google it.”</div><div><br></div><div>DeVos said that she was glad that she Googled the Civil War, calling it “an extremely fascinating chapter in American history that people need to find out about.”</div><div><br></div><div>“Like President Trump has been saying, the Civil War had sides to it,” she said. “Although I don’t think it had many sides. I only counted two.”</div><div><br></div><div>DeVos said that, prior to Googling the Civil War, she believed that parents should have a choice as to whether or not their children learned history in the nation’s schools, “but now I’m starting to rethink that.”</div><div><br></div><div>“I guess you might say I’ve gotten bitten by the history bug,” DeVos said, adding that she was about to Google Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson, and George Washington.</div></div><div><br></div><div>---------------------------------<br><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></div></body></html>