<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><span></span></div><div><div>Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker</i> at:</div><div><br></div><div><span style="text-decoration: underline; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><a href="http://tinyurl.com/y72gdjoe">http://tinyurl.com/y72gdjoe</a></span></div><div><br></div><div>---------------------------------</div><div><span style="font-family: 'Irvin Heading', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 44px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Girl Scouts Obtain Restraining Order Against Trump</span></div><div><div><br></div><div>WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an extraordinary rebuke of the President of the United States, the Girl Scouts of America have obtained a restraining order against Donald J. Trump.</div><div><br></div><div>The order, which the Girls Scouts were granted on Monday night, prevents Trump from coming within three hundred feet of any gathering of the Scouts’ organization.</div><div> </div><div>Carol Foyler, a Girl Scouts spokesperson, said that while the G.S.A. sought the restraining order “out of an abundance of caution,” the girls themselves were “in no way, shape or form” afraid of President Trump.</div><div> </div><div>“They’re prepared to deal with bobcats and bears,” she said. “They can handle a malignant narcissist.”</div><div><br></div><div>Trump wasted little time responding to the Girl Scouts’ action, lashing out at the organization in a blistering early-morning tweet storm.</div><div><br></div><div>“Failing Girl Scouts bad (or sick) guys,” Trump wrote. “Mints, cookies terrible. Sad!”</div></div><div><br></div><div>---------------------------------<br><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></div></body></html>