<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div>Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker</i> at:</div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://tinyurl.com/DeVos-Heads-to-North-Korea" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://tinyurl.com/DeVos-Heads-to-North-Korea</a></div><div><br></div><div>--------------------------------</div><div><br></div><div><div><h1 class="ArticleHeader__hed___GPB7e" data-reactid="91" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 44px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; -webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; text-rendering: geometricPrecision; font-family: 'Irvin Heading', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: 400; line-height: 1.09; min-height: 1px; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 20px; position: relative; -webkit-box-flex: 0; flex: 0 0 83.33332824707031%; max-width: 83.33332824707031%; width: 853.328125px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Betsy DeVos Heads to North Korea to Reverse Its Progress in Math and Science</h1></div><div><br></div><div>WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Education Secretary Betsy DeVos is being dispatched to Pyongyang in what the White House is calling a high-stakes mission to reverse North Korea’s years of progress in math and science.</div><div> </div><div>DeVos, who is expected to arrive in Pyongyang later this week, plans to throw a monkey wrench in North Korea’s swiftly advancing nuclear program by replacing its current system of training scientists with a dizzying array of vouchers, sources said.</div><div> </div><div>According to the White House, it is hoped that, after a few weeks in North Korea, DeVos will succeed in returning that nation’s nuclear program to pre-1970 levels.</div><div> </div><div>At a press briefing announcing the mission, the White House deputy press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, called DeVos “our nation’s best bet to stop North Korea.”</div><div> </div><div>“If anyone can get North Korea’s missiles to start blowing up on the launchpad again, it’s Betsy,” Sanders said.</div></div><div><br></div><div>--------------------------------<br><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></body></html>