<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div>Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker</i> at:</div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://tinyurl.com/NATO-to-Meet-Next-President" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://tinyurl.com/NATO-to-Meet-Next-President</a></div><div><br></div><div>--------------------------------</div><div><br></div><div><div><h1 class="title" itemprop="headline" style="border: 0px; margin: 5px 0px 2px; padding: 0px; -webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; text-rendering: geometricPrecision; font-size: 38px; font-family: 'Irvin Heading', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; text-transform: uppercase; line-height: 1.1; letter-spacing: -0.05rem; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-variant-ligatures: none !important;">REMAINING COUNTRIES ON TRUMP’S ITINERARY SAY THEY’D RATHER WAIT A MONTH AND MEET WITH NEXT PRESIDENT</h1></div><div><br></div><div>BRUSSELS (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump’s foreign trip hit a snag on Tuesday, when the remaining countries on his itinerary announced that they would rather “wait a month” and meet with the next President instead.</div><div><br></div><div>“It makes no sense for us to roll out the red carpet for Trump when there is going to be a completely different guy in the White House in a month,” Hendrik van der Valde, a travel minister for the Belgian government, said. “We very much look forward to hosting the next U.S. President, be it Mike Pence or Paul Ryan or whoever.”</div><div><br></div><div>Citing the exorbitant costs of hosting a President, the Belgian said it “would be insane” to spend such sums on someone who “only has a few weeks left” in office.</div><div><br></div><div>“When a President comes to your country, you have to feed not only him but a whole plane full of people that he brings,” the minister added. “Jared Kushner, for example, eats a ton, and no one even knows what he does.”</div><div><br></div><div>NATO ministers, who had been slated to meet with Trump in Brussels on Thursday, voted unanimously last night to reschedule the meeting for June to accommodate his replacement.</div><div><br></div><div>According to one nato minister, “We don’t see why we should be speaking to Donald Trump when even Melania isn’t doing that.”</div></div><div><br></div><div>--------------------------------</div><div><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></body></html>