<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><span></span></div><div><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><div>Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker</i> at:</div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://tinyurl.com/Trump-Fires-Attorney-General" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://tinyurl.com/Trump-Fires-Attorney-General</a></div><div><br></div><div>---------------------------------</div><div><div><h1 class="title" itemprop="headline" style="border: 0px; padding: 0px; -webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; text-rendering: geometricprecision; font-size: 38px; font-family: 'Irvin Heading', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; text-transform: uppercase; line-height: 1.1; letter-spacing: -0.05rem; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; margin: 5px 0px 12px !important; font-variant-ligatures: none !important;">TRUMP FIRES ATTORNEY GENERAL AFTER COPY OF CONSTITUTION IS FOUND ON HER COMPUTER</h1></div><div>WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump fired the acting Attorney General, Sally Q. Yates, after learning that she had downloaded a copy of the United States Constitution to her computer, Trump told reporters on Monday night.</div><div><br></div><div>According to the Trump Administration’s code of ethics, established by Steve Bannon, a counselor to the President, “possessing, reading, or referring to the United States Constitution” is a violation that is punishable by termination.</div><div><br></div><div>Suspecting that Yates was in breach of that rule, Bannon seized Yates’s computer at the Justice Department and discovered that she had secretly downloaded a complete copy of the 1789 document.</div><div><br></div><div>“Sally Yates was hatching a covert plot to require my actions to be in accordance with the Constitution,” Trump said. “We caught her red-handed.”</div><div><br></div><div>Trump said he hoped Yates’s firing would send Justice Department staffers the message that “if you are caught flagrantly obeying the Constitution, you will be out of here.”</div><div><br></div><div>“The American people deserve an Attorney General who will come to work every day ready to flout the Constitution, and in Jeff Sessions, they will have one,” he said.</div></div><div><br></div><div>---------------------------------<br><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></div></body></html>